There are few absolutes when it comes to parenthood, but the horror that is toddler tantrums is one of them. There's just not much us parents can do to avoid them. We can try to console our kids, try to leave them alone, try to send them to their rooms, and try to contain the tantrum itself, but that's about it. Preparation does help, though, and what better way to brace ourselves for the kind of emotional outpouring of our children then figuring out how bad our toddler’s tantrums will be, according to their Zodiac sign, right? After all, it can't hurt.
Now, I know the Zodiac can be a bit, well, hokey. I also understand that, for the most part, the majority of Zodiac readers just use it to see if they’re compatible with their next Tinder date, or whatever. But maybe there’s a place in parenting for the Zodiac, too. Is it possible to figure out how badly our kids will be shrieking over a misplaced lego or a broken crayon by taking a look at where the stars were aligned when they were born? Maybe. I mean, there are people out there who believe the world is flat or who think climate change is a hoax, so anything’s possible these days, my friends.
Since toddler tantrums are the damn worst, I say let’s have some fun with it, shall we? Check the list below for your child’s Zodiac sign and see if the universe has correctly predicted what you have, for better or worse, experienced firsthand. Oh, and godspeed.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Capricorns tend to be fairly disciplined, even at an early age. They’re also fairly independent. So your toddler won’t have too many problems on the tantrum front, so long as you let them be and don't pressure them to make friends. Once other kids get thrown in and try to move in on their play dough, though, all bets are off.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Your Aquarius toddler is both curious and unpredictable. Tantrums under this air sign will come at you when you least expect them, too. Think earthquakes rather than hurricanes, for example. So prepare for your toddler's tantrums to come with a side of cutting words, since Aquarius kids tend to lack a filter.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Pisces tantrums aren’t so bad, thanks to their caring and compassionate nature. These little ones enjoy daydreaming and being artistic, so as long as you hold space for them to be whimsical and creative, you're good to go. Forget to give them an outlet, though, and they’ll slowly simmer until they explode in an adorable-but-still-loud manner.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
An Aries child lives for today (which is probably like every other child, honestly, because kids have a lousy sense of time). Your toddler will probably throw a tantrum if you've failed to prepare yourself, and them, for the day's schedule.
For example: running out of the color red in their watercolor set because they kept dipping the paint into the water and not actually using it on the paper so that it made me, er, their parents, go mad. Then they will shriek and stamp around and, well, you know what a tantrum looks like.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Taurus kiddos thrive on routine (OK, all toddlers do, but whatever). So when things change, they are certain to have some meltdowns. Couldn’t take them to the park on your usual Wednesday afternoon due to rain? Prepare for the end of the world in the form of thrown stuffed animals.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Gemini tantrums can totally catch you off-guard. These little ones tend to have fairly sunny dispositions, but once crossed, anything is possible. Like, say, having your breakfast “accidentally” spilled because you wouldn’t let them watch cartoons.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Children under the sign of Cancer are very cautious. They don’t put themselves out there as much as some kids (meaning they'e not the ones sliding head first down the park slide). Tantrums for these littles will probably have something to do with being pushed to do something they would rather not try, even if it’s just encouraging.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Your Leo toddler is all about being leader of the pack. He or she digs the attention and responsibility, and they will hate when someone else comes to try and steal their thunder. Leos can be generally chill, but fail to pay attention to them and, well, those tantrums are something else.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Virgo tantrums will happen when things aren't exactly perfect. Trying to build a building only with blue legos and run out and only have yellow ones left? Your kid is gonna lose it, and FYI: it will be a first-class theatrical experience.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Want to see a Libra toddler have a tantrum? Rush them. Putting on their shoes? Eating lunch? Going potty? Cleaning their toys? If you're asking them to "hurry up" during any of the aforementioned, their tantrum will be just about as bad as any other kid’s, except they’ll probably also make you feel a little guilty about it afterward (even though, no, mom, it’s not actually your fault).
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Strong-willed Scorpio toddlers love to do what they want. They’re also pretty charming, so they can usually get away with it. But when you don’t let them do as they please, they’ll turn into an evil version of themselves that can only be stopped by giving them the heart of Te Fiti (also known as exactly what they want).
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Tiny Sagittarians tend to be fairly confident kiddos, and their tantrums don’t come all that often. That said, if forced into a situation they find dull or boring, they’ll be the first ones to let you know about it. These tantrums may be strong, but they’re also over fairly quickly.
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