I spent most of my first pregnancy with no sex drive. The only time I wanted sex was at the end of my pregnancy, because my midwife told me it might jumpstart labor. I think I had more sex in the last week of my pregnancy than the previous nine months combined. My second pregnancy was more of the same. I had hyperemesis gravidarum, threw up for five months straight, and was put on bed-rest. So I had no idea how to get turned on when you're pregnant, or if it was even possible.
When I talked to other moms about pregnancy sex, though, so many of them told me all about their high libidos and great orgasms. I started to feel like a failure, or like awesome pregnancy sex was some cruel joke I wasn't in on. Then I met my current husband and discovered what all of my friends were bragging about. OMG I had no idea that pregnancy sex can be so good, and I was turned on nearly all of the time, even when I couldn't have sex. While trying to restrain myself wasn't all that fun, it was way better than spending nine month without any orgasms. Trust me.
I asked some previously-pregnant women I know to share their pregnancy turn-ons, and if you are pregnant (or planning to be) you might want to bookmark this post. Turns out, pregnancy foreplay, sex, and masturbation can all be awesome. Who knew, right? But make no mistake, you totally deserve all the orgasms you want, especially when you are literally growing a human being inside your body. So with that in mind, read on to find out what worked for other women.
"At first, just the idea that I could actually orgasm for the first time in my life was enough to turn me on. Once it became too painful (cramps and bleeding for 24-hours after), not even the thought of 'getting there' was enough."
"The wild dreams in the second and third trimesters did it for me. I had naughty dreams every single night."
"Everything. After delivery my husband was pretty much exhausted and grateful for a six-week break from constant bonking."
"With this pregnancy, everything turns me on. I am ready to go every second of every day. It's so weird."
"I have a weight gain fetish. While pregnant, imagining my husband gaining a lot of weight was the only way I could get off."
"Honestly, it was achieved by him treating me no differently and him not being put off by pregnancy. That helped a ton."
"I didn’t feel like having sex at all and the hormones made my vagina super dry. I looked at porn to get me in the mood and used a vibrator, and that really helped me when nothing else could."
"I only got turned on in my second trimester with my second pregnancy, and what turned me on was giving blow jobs."
"My sex drive was high during my pregnancy. I wanted to have orgasms all the time. And my orgasms were freaking powerful. Towards the end, though, I was told not to have sex because of the risk of preterm labor. It sucked."
"How didn't I get turned on? That is the question. Seat warmers in my car were almost too much sometimes."
"Strangely enough, I thought it was f*cking hot to have my belly rubbed."
"Does the thought that it would induce labor count?"
"I seem to go through a spurt at the beginning of my pregnancies where the wind blowing can turn me on, but it fades within weeks and is replaced by zero interest. Unless I watch porn or make up a sex story in my head, it takes my husband doing his thing for me to actually get turned on and enjoy it, like half way through the act."
"During the second trimester, I was turned on by everything. I felt like a powerful amazing goddess. So, maybe my huge pregnant self is what turned me on.
"For some reason I'm always into [sex] when I'm pregnant, but too tired to actually do it with my hubby. So I got better acquainted with my dilido. I'm pregnant now, and I'm pretty into it — just with my toy. I've noticed since being pregnant I reach orgasm really fast, like under a minute when it normally takes ages. Not complaining."
"The first few weeks I wanted sex all the time, but as soon as morning sickness hit my libido tanked. It’s still pretty non-existent 13 weeks after the birth. The few times before that we did it I relied on my imagination and some old faithful fantasies to get me in the mood."
"Normally I am so indifferent about doing the deed, I could probably go years without it. However, when I was pregnant, I literally couldn't get enough. Just looking at my significant other did the job of getting me in the mood. After delivery, I went right back to indifferent."
"With my first I wanted it all the time, but was put on strict bedrest in the second trimester so I just had to suffer. When I was finally off bed rest my husband wasn't interested. I think in that first year postpartum, we only had sex twice, actually. It sucked. Second pregnancy, I want it all the time and we are on the same page so far, but my drive is definitely significantly higher than his still. There have been a couple nights I sent our kid to grandparent's house so we could have as much sex without the risk of being interrupted."
Check out Romper's new video series, Bearing The Motherload, where disagreeing parents from different sides of an issue sit down with a mediator and talk about how to support (and not judge) each other’s parenting perspectives. New episodes air Mondays on Facebook.