Sometimes there's nothing lonelier than being pregnant. Everyone's out drinking and having a good time, and you're busy feeling like a beached whale and trying not to vomit. Fear not, for you'll soon figure out that your village has your back. In fact, there are more than a few moments during pregnancy that prove female friendships are your lifeline.
I got pregnant in my 30s, so I was lucky in that I had a lot of friends who had already experience pregnancy, and were already deep in motherhood game. Throughout my pregnancy, I was supported by a tribe of amazing women including family members, co-workers, military spouses, friends from high school, and my pole dance squad. These women all stepped up to the plate to make sure I was supported.
My mom has always said that you can't expect your partner to fulfill all your emotional needs. My husband is great. He's reliable, funny, smart, and supportive and when I couldn't stop puking in the waiting room, he held me in his lap. In my third trimester, he brought me a chocolate milkshake every day. Still, there were certain things going on with my body and emotional state that he just couldn't understand. Enter my motley crew of female friends. That band of badass sisters saved me, and yours will too.
She Sits In Solidarity With You On The Couch
As a pregnant human being, you'll experience more than a few moments when all you want to do is wear sweats, lie on your couch, and moan. A good friend will sit there with you, no judgment attached, eating snacks and binging the latest Netflix original series. (Even if it means she has to nap her own kid in the other room.)
Toward the end of my pregnancy, my husband hosted a poker party. My dear friend accompanied her husband and kept me company. When I got tired, we curled up under a blanket on the couch together and took a nap. Friendship goals achieved.
She Forces You To Have Fun
Your female friends know you need a balance of corpse-posing and getting your ass out of the house. She'll take you out to eat or go shopping with you, and you'll thank your lucky stars that they were willing to be the motivation you've clearly lost.
My sister and I had planned a trip to Disneyland for her bachelorette party before I knew I was pregnant. I was about 9 weeks along at the time of the trip, and my nausea and lethargy were at their peak. After a day at the parks, she let me take a nap. When she woke me up to go see a show, I announced, "I can't do it. I've had all the fun there is to be had today." She dragged me out of bed, and I ended up loving that magical World of Color.
She Finds You A Nausea Cure
Ah, morning sickness. If you're lucky, you don't get it at all. If not, you probably know that morning sickness isn't only relegated to the morning. Fortunately, women are a wealth of knowledge when it comes to treating common pregnancy ailments like nausea. They'll hook you up with ginger pills, sea bands, preggie pops; anything to make you, their puking friend, feel better.
The one thing that really helped was the peppermint oil my friend mailed me. A few drops on the back of my tongue really took the edge off, and I was grateful for even a little relief.
She Lends You Maternity Clothes
At a certain point in pregnancy, your clothes stop fitting, and it can be depressing as hell. Plus, there's the added expense of maternity clothes. Mommy friends to the rescue! I got jeans, tunics, and even bras for my brand new boobs. These ladies can also show you how those things fit (belly bands are more confusing than you might think).
I have a hard time buying a dress for one-time use for things like weddings or military balls, and I felt the same when I was pregnant. Still, I can't say I didn't want to look cute for my baby shower, you guys. Maternity dresses available to borrow? Don't mind if I do. It's great because you can return the clothes when you don't need them anymore, or pay it forward to another pregnant mama.
She Covers For You At Work
There will be moments during your pregnancy that you need to duck out of work for an appointment, excuse yourself to use the restroom (like a million times a day), or just lie down for a damn minute. You can count on your female co-worker friends to have your back.
One particularly upsetting morning when I was about 14 weeks along, I was rear-ended on the way to work. It wasn't anything serious, but I became slightly hysterical. I called the office manager, who relayed the message to my teammates. They prepared to divide up my class and each take half until I could arrive safely. When I did arrive, another teacher offered to give up her planning period so I could go to Starbucks and calm the f*ck down. That's love.
She Sends You A Surprise
It is great to get gifts for the baby in the mail, but it's extra special when you get something just for you. It might be a card with an encouraging message, a little bottle of nail polish when you're feeling decidedly unattractive, or a sweet treat just for you.
I was elated to receive a skin scrub made with coffee. My husband, who walked in on me in the bath with my giant belly slathered in coffee grounds, was also amused.
She Helps You Register For All The Things
Walking into a baby store as a first-time mom is nothing if not overwhelming. What do I really need? Which brand? How many? Those are just a few of the questions you'll ask yourself. Some people really like to do all that consumer research, but I'm not one of them. I was eternally grateful to the friend who accompanied me to create my registry.
She Gives Great Advice
When you're worried about the growing baby inside you, freaking out on pregnancy hormones, or trying to figure out what you can and can't eat; experienced mom friends are fantastic. When they don't know the answers, they know some great resources who will provide them. They'll tell you all the good websites to check out and will lend you the books that are worth reading.
She Indulges With You
When you're pregnant (and sometimes, well, even when you're not) you just want to eat an entire pizza, but doing so comes with a side of guilt. Your gal pals will ease that guilt by indulging right alongside you. If you want to gorge yourself on In-N-Out and get a pedicure on toes you can't even see anymore, you can count on a girlfriend to do it with you.
She Defends You
There's something about a pregnant woman that makes people think they can touch her or make comments about her. Girlfriends are fierce when it comes to protecting their pregnant buddies. She's the absolute sweetest with you, but anyone who gets inappropriate with you can get ready to meet the evil b*tch monster of death.
During my aforementioned Disneyland trip, some kids were roughhousing in line. I was afraid of getting hit, so I told them to knock it off (the teacher in me dies hard). Their mom later showed up and came unglued on me. My sister went all Aldo the Apache and gave her what-for.
That's how it should be. During your pregnancy, your lady tribe will be your enemy's worst enemy, and your very best friend.