Life

10 Signs You're Kicking The Second Trimester's Ass

I’ve seen the second trimester held up as the pillar of pregnancy bliss, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s easy. I mean, compared to non-pregnant life, it still requires lots of extra effort, including those frequent Google searches to confirm that I still can’t eat brie or lunch meat (ugh), and attentiveness to that growing belly and all the other body changes that are still in full-force. So, I think it’s totally worth it to celebrate any signs that you’re kicking the second trimester’s ass, because, really, what is pregnancy if not one giant, 10 month ass to be kicked? (And I know, that’s kind of an intense visual that was just planted for you, but we’re talking pregnancy and motherhood here, so intense visuals are here to stay).

I’m at the tail-end of my own second trimester, in my second pregnancy, and I’m already pre-mourning the transition to the third trimester. I don’t mean to be dramatic, but I really, really like being able to put my own shoes on, and I really enjoy not feeling like my organs are punching bags. Of course, I also really, really like the idea of having a baby at the end of all of this, so I suppose it balances out.

In the meantime and while I soak up every last second of second trimester bliss I can, here are the hints that my second trimester is going well (that I'll be clinging to with desperation when that third trimester rolls around):

You’re Able To Stand Up Without Vomming

In addition to my own discomforts, I've heard some pretty wild stories about the severity of morning sickness some of my friends have dealt with, not to mention what it's like to suffer from Hyperemesis Gravidarum. In my humble opinion, anyone who manages to make it through a day of pregnancy without vomiting has reason to celebrate.

You’ve Made It To Work On Time At Least Once

Punctuality has never been a strength of mine (I try, I really do), so adding pregnancy to the mix only complicated matters. I considered it a personal triumph whenever I was able to make it to work on time (and yes, for the record, I had a very understanding boss that I still appreciate, to this day).

You’ve Kept Wardrobe Malfunctions To A Minimum

The second trimester is when most of us get to enjoy that delicate dance between our regular clothes and our maternity clothes. And by "delicate dance," I mean "aggressive flamenco," because yes, it's complex, full of confusing sexual tension, and includes occasional kicks and stomps.

You Haven't Fallen Asleep Anywhere Unplanned

I'm not here to judge your nap style, especially not since I became dangerously close to nodding off while my toddler and I were playing in a fort the other day (it was so cozy, and warm, and dark). All I'm saying is that keeping pregnancy naps under control is a feat in and of itself, and those of you who are able to do it should give yourself a pat on the back (while you still can).

You’re Revealing The News On Your Terms

Guys, I'm terrible with surprises. I don't like keeping keeping them, and I don't enjoy when someone keeps them from me. When it came to keeping the secret of pregnancy just between my partner and I, it was a huge struggle and I slipped up more than once. I bow to anyone who manages this one better than I could.

You’re Able To Think About Things Unrelated To Your Pregnancy

To be fair, I'm better at this one in my second pregnancy than I was during my first. I feel busier now, and it's not quite as new and scary as it was the first time around. Of course, my baby (with her bumps and kicks) clearly likes to show me who's really in charge, but in between those reminders I've actually managed to get a few things done. I'll take it.

You're Eating From More Than One Food Group

My pregnancy diet has gone from largely starch- and carb-based, to being overwhelmingly comprised of sweets. I swear, I'm adding as many fruits and veggies and healthy proteins as I can, and I take my prenatal vitamins regularly, but it's still a struggle because the baby — OK, and because I— want what our hearts want. If anyone out there is managing a healthy, balanced diet, please accept my virtual applause.

You’re Checking Things Off Your To-Do List

I'm definitely not judging if that to-do list includes things like "shower" and "eat." I get it, and I've been there.

You Can Remember The Fruit Your Baby's Size Corresponds To, Without Having To Check

If that's the case, you're one step ahead of me. Also, an extra shout-out to anyone who manages to keep track of this one without feeling guilty for not eating more mangoes and rutabagas.

You're Able To Fall Back Asleep Quickly After You Get Up To Pee In The Night

This is the ultimate marker of second trimester success, in my opinion. If you've unlocked this magical level of pregnancy, please accept my humble congratulations and graceful curtsies.