It’s a truth universally acknowledged: new parents don’t sleep very much. However, there’s a very big difference between being unable to sleep because you are required to care for the baby that you love, and being unable to sleep because, despite your best efforts, you simply can’t. At least now we have our phones to silently entertain us while our loved ones sleep, right? Not only that, but we can text to our other parent friends who are up late, too. Seriously, the texts that new moms send when they can’t sleep are the best texts because they’re a glorious cyclone of desperation, exhaustion, and auto-correct. What a time to be alive.
Not sure about you guys but, as a kid, sleepless nights always seemed to strike right before summer camp, right before the first day of school, and right before Christmas. You know, exciting things. The things that keep me awake as an adult? The sound of my child snoring through his head cold; my own head cold; terror over what could possibly happen after the 2016 presidential election; excitement over the fact that we’re one day closer to the premier of UnREAL Season 3. You know, your regular roller coaster of emotions that aren't uncommon to parents.
So, if you're a new (or even not-so-new) mom, I'm going to go ahead and assume you've shared a few sleep-deprived texts with your friends. If you haven't yet, please join me on a textual journey through the mind of a super-exhausted mom (and teach me all of your sleep secrets, immediately).