A wise woman once said, “Adult friends are harder to maintain than our hope in love after the announcement of Brangelina’s split.” OK, no she didn’t, but she should have because adult friendship are hard to maintain. Add kids into the mix, and all of a sudden a causal relationship between two grown-ass women becomes a mess of feelings and packed schedules and due dates and lunch dates set about three months out because when else are you going to have time to get together? So, it's not all that surprising when you realize there are things every mom secretly thinks about friendship that she just doesn't feel comfortable saying out loud. Well, now is the time to just come out with it already.
No, this doesn’t mean I’m about to reveal the secrets of the public women’s restroom conferences (I miss those, to be honest, as my toddler isn’t really that into the idea right now), or that I'm going to share exactly what went down at our junior high sleepovers. We took oaths and swore ourselves to secrecy and I intend to stick to honor those pledges.However, I do think talking about the challenges and the triumphs and the feels that our adult friendships inspire is a worthwhile conversation.
As we grow older, relationships all away around are harder to maintain, regardless of whether or not procreation is a life choice you end up making. If you do have a baby, those relationships become even more difficult to cultivate because, well, there's this tiny mini-human taking up all your time and energy and did I say time? Being honest about how hard it is, I think, is a great way to keep realistic expectations and, as a result, your friends. So, with that in mind, let’s start with a few of the things that moms think about making, and keeping, friends: