Why Being Pregnant On V-Day Is The Absolute Worst

Valentine’s Day is coming up and, whether you’re married, single, or engaged, we’ve all have feelings about it. Some folks love the idea of setting aside a special day dedicated to the object of their affection and plan out every single detail. I’m not one of those people. While I’m alright with Valentine's Day, I’m not in love with the day of love. Too much pressure can often end in misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or worse. Of course, pregnancy can only add to those problems. Indeed, there are tons of reasons why being pregnant on Valentine’s Day sucks.

My son was born in late February. I recall vividly what it was like to be pregnant on Cupid’s big day. My husband snuck out of bed early to cook me breakfast and surprise me with a few gifts. I got up late, walked downstairs, and waited for him to wish me a “Happy Valentine's Day.” Instead, he asked me if I’d gone to the bathroom. I remember flipping out on him, thinking he’d completely forgotten the holiday. Eventually, he told me to just go to the damn bathroom and once I did, I found roses, a teddy bear, the breakfast he had made (and then some).

Yes, I felt like a total fool, but fortunately my partner knew my patience was short by that point. We didn’t go out or do anything else since I was on bedrest so, while it wasn’t a total loss, I’ve had better, and easier, Valentine’s Days. If you’ve been there, this list will definitely resonate with you.

There’s A Good Chance You Won’t Be Getting Any (Due To Doctor’s Orders)

Sure, plenty of couples still have sex throughout their entire pregnancy. Then again, other couples don’t because they can’t. I was put on pelvic rest during my high-risk pregnancy, meaning no sex and no orgasms; basically nothing that might affect my cervix or uterus in any way. Yes, it put a damper on all romance for a number of months.

There's A Good Chance Your Hormones Are All Messed Up

Much like exhaustion will often put you out of the mood in early parenthood, hormones (and exhaustion thanks to hormones) can do the same while you’re pregnant. They can cause you to get irritated a bit faster, which may cause some friction in the relationship (which, you know, is never good for sex).

Or you might be too weepy and would rather just watch a Ryan Gosling flick and cuddle. Nothing wrong with that, of course.

There's A Good Chance You'll Be Too Tired To Go Anywhere Fun

If your usual V-Day plans entail leaving the house, you can (probably) forget about it. Pregnancy will deplete you of all your energy, especially during the first and third trimesters. I recall getting the intense afternoon sleepies when I was working in my first trimester and how torturous it felt to not be able to pass out at my desk. So if my partner had wanted to take me out to a restaurant or somewhere else, I likely would’ve passed.

There's A Good Chance Nausea Will Prevent You From Enjoying A Romantic Meal

If you’re lucky, this will be a non-issue. But for others, pregnancy-related nausea is very real, and does not allow you to eat practically anything with flavor for weeks (if not months). I’ve even heard some moms tell me they couldn’t eat their very favorite foods (but luckily mine is pizza and pizza isn’t usually that bad even when you want to hurl).

There's A Good Chance You Won't Enjoy An Adult Beverage (For The Obvious Reasons)

A non-issue for the sober folks in the crowd but, for those who partake, this can be a pretty big downer. There were a number of times I craved a frosty beer or a nice, full-bodied wine, but I never did. And when your usual Valentine shenanigans involve Merlot or a bottle of bubbly, it’s quite a downer.

There's A Good Chance Your Sciatica Will Ruin The Day

If your date wants to take you to the theater or some other place that requires more than 30 minutes of sitting, it might not work out so well for you. Many pregnant persons develop sciatica, a (really obnoxious) form of back pain, especially the farther along they are in their pregnancies. I suffered from sciatica and, let me tell you, it made sitting and lying down equally uncomfortable. No winning.

There's A Good Chance You'll Spend The Majority Of Your Evening In The Bathroom

Nothing worse than getting to a film or live performance only to have to leave early. Or to leave again, and again, and again. When you’re pregnant, though, you have no choice. So unless your plan is to hang out next to a bathroom, might as well not bother.

There's A Good Chance That Nasty Gas Cloud Will Make Things Awkward

In case you’re somehow not aware, pregnancy can cause you to pass some serious gas. You know that dirt cloud that’s always hanging around Pig Pen? Well, that’s you, but with farts. And there’s no way in hell anyone’s feeling sexy with that, ahem, aroma lingering.

There's A Good Chance Your Swollen Feet Will Ruin Any Long, Romantic Walks

Pregnancy tends to cause your feet and ankles (and sometimes even legs) to swell. It can also cause your feet to expand a shoe size (or 2). Basically, it’s not a fun time to be on your feet, so ixnay on the long walks on the beach thing.

There's A Good Chance You Won't Be Able To Fit Into Anything You'd Like To Wear

Once your belly is fairly big, it makes it difficult to find proper winter gear. I used to not understand this being from Miami, but now that I’m in Denver I see how essential it is to own properly fitting coats and jackets in the winter.

Unless you’re willing to pay for overpriced maternity coats, your best bet is to stay home where it’s warm.

There's A Good Chance You'll Forget It's Valentine's Day

Yeah, I can’t be the only pregnant woman who kinda sorta didn’t get her partner anything in return for V-Day. I mean, I was pregnant! Shouldn’t that be enough? For real, though, I kinda felt like a jerk. I blame the pregnancy brain.

Screw Valentine’s Day when you’re pregnant. Take a pass and celebrate twice the following year. Haha, who am I kidding? By then you’ll have a kid, so, um, just wait until the 15th and pick up some discount chocolates and call it a night.