When it comes to Father’s Day, it's easy to focus on our own dads or help our kids celebrate their fathers. But, in my opinion, it’s not a bad idea for us to focus on our partners, too. After all, it's a day to recognize all fathers, including the men who are helping us raise our kids. I’m fortunate to have a great partner in my life. He’s the father of my child, and there’s so much I want him to know this Father’s Day. I know I don't always tell him how much I appreciate him, so I think it's time to write a few things down.
It's no secret that pregnancy and parenthood can put a strain on even the most stable of marriages, and my experience was no exception. My partner used to be my main focus, but when my son arrived my focus had to shift so that I could adequately care for this tiny, needy, adorable human. Babies need our time and focus, so it makes sense that our priorities would change post-pregnancy. Any good dad will understand that necessary shift, and be supportive of his partner. In fact, a good dad will make his kid(s) his priority, too.
But now that my child is getting older — and, as a result, more independent and self-sufficient — I am able to put more and more energy back into my relationship with my partner. In fact, these days things our marriage feels more solid than ever. Which is why I want the father of my child to know a few things on his special day:
I Knew You Were The One From The Start
Call it love at first sight. Call it foolish. Call it naive. Whatever you want to call it, something drew me to you from the moment we met... and vice versa. You’re a father now, but you’re still, first and foremost, the love of my life.
Every Rough Patch Reminds Me That You're The One
I know a lot of people experience difficult times, but I don’t know many who have gone through as much as we have. We hadn’t even been together a year when we had to say goodbye to our first baby. You could have left then; could have said this was all too much; could have retreated into your own grief. But you didn't.
And when our son was born, and things were tough for a second time, you were there and unwavering in your love and support. We both stuck it out, and I’m so happy we did.
Your Hard Work Does Not Go Unnoticed
Every single day that you go to work (even when you don’t want to), our son takes notice. Hell, I take notice. You work hard, and sometimes you’ve gone above and beyond for the both of us. You’ve made five hour-long commutes on a daily basis just to keep us all afloat. You’ve spent days in hotel rooms, hours away from home, just to make it work. We might not always say thank you, but we always appreciate you.
Your Loyalty Is Refreshing & Appreciated
Marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. Working a full-time job is hard. Being an adult and balancing it all is extremely hard. But you make your devotion to your family seem so simple. You’ve never made either of us question your loyalty. You make us your priority and it shows, and for that we are thankful.
Morning Snuggles With You & Our Son Make Life Worth Living
My heart bursts with joy when I’m cozied up with you guys. I love nothing more than to see you both peacefully resting in the morning light. For me it’s the stuff of poetry, and in those moments I remember that I am lucky to have you both.
Watching You & Our Son Together Makes Me Fall In Love With You All Over Again
I know that there are more than a few sons and fathers who will never be close. I know that some dads rarely show affection to their children. I know that some parents are too busy, too annoyed, or too [insert aggravated adult emotion here] to spend adequate time with their children.
I know things get stressful from time to time, but you still make time for our kiddo. I see it when you play race cars on the floor, when you carry our son on your shoulders when he’s tired, when you give him hugs and kisses, and when you walk hand in hand.
Thanks For Holding Down The Fort When I’m Away
Sometimes I travel for work, and when I do you make sure everything is taken care of. You never question my trips or get upset or complain. Instead, you make the most of your solo time with our son. Sometimes you even surprise me with a clean house or a nice treat when I return, which shows me that you care and you were thinking of me even when I was gone. It’s truly wonderful to have a partner I can depend on, especially in these situations.
Thank You For Not Expecting Me To Hold It Down On My Own
You have never expected me to do anything, let alone everything. You don't just assume I'll keep the dishes clean, change the diapers, do the laundry, and tend to every house responsibility. I do the things I do because I know they need to be done, and so do you. You help our son in the bath. You change my car brakes. You wash the grosses of dishes. You decorate our kid’s room with things that bring you both joy.
I Love Watching You Grow & Change
We've experienced our fair share of head-butting in the past, and things between us haven’t always been sparkly and perfect. But I think we’ve both put in the effort to be better people not only for each other, but for our son. Your willingness to open up, and to grow and change along with me, has only made this parenting journey better.
Nothing Is Hotter Than You Being A Rockstar Dad
In case you weren’t aware of it yet, nothing makes me want to steal you away for a night than spending a day watching you kill it at the dad-game. Maybe it’s some kind of evolutionary thing, who knows. Either way, you know, keep it in mind — wink, wink.
I Could Do It Without You... But I Don't Want To
Some people talk about how they “need” someone, but to me it’s more about wanting to be with someone. I want to walk hand in hand with a partner I love and care for; someone who inspires me and makes me laugh. And, well, that someone is you.
I know that if I had to, I could go through this life on my own and as a single mother. But I don't want to, because I like you and I love you. Happy Father’s Day, my love.