Sex with my partner is awesome. When I told him that I was writing this article, I wanted to make it perfectly clear that I have no real complaints in that department. There are, however, things I wish my partner knew about pregnancy sex, without me having to actually say them out loud.
I love sex. I am not ashamed to admit it, and I'm constantly telling people off for suggesting that moms ought not to feel sexy or like sex. As I've grown older and found the right partner, it's way easier for me to explore and accept my sexuality and, consequently, sex is way better. Sex during my first two pregnancies can be best described as "meh." Between morning sickness, body image issues, aches, pains, and a less-than-desirable partner, I had pretty much written off pregnancy sex as a thing that just wasn't for me. Then I met my husband, got pregnant, and wow, I was wrong (something I rarely admit, by the way).
As great as we are together and as great as we are at communicating in the bedroom, there have been many moments when I wish I could tell him what's on my mind, without having to actually say the words out loud and risk ruining the mood or bursting into giggles. So, as a writer, I thought I would write them all down, instead. Honey, consider this a guidebook, and if other moms-to-be are reading, feel free to forward to your partner. You're welcome.
I Want You
I don't know whether it's your hot body, your caring smile, your loving support, or the hormones racing through my blood stream, but I pretty much want to jump you all of the time. Even right now, but I won't, because both of us are working.
I'm Not Always In The Mood, But It's Not Your Fault
As I said, I am pretty much always in the mood, except when I'm not. As much as my body says, "Yes," it also says, "No," sometimes at the same time. Between constant vomiting, body changes, pain, hemorrhoids, mood swings, exhaustion, and other physical and emotional changes, sometimes I don't want sex, or even if I did it would be challenging for me. Thank you for understanding, and please know that it's literally not you. You are great. I love you.
My Mood Can Change In An Instant
Sometimes the window during which I feel like having sex is small. So you'd best jump through that window when you can. (Or should I say on me? Yeah, I mean jump on me.)
I Like Different Things In Bed
My body has changed in major ways, and I like different things in the bedroom (and shower, living room, and yard). I want to suggest new positions and other things to spice things up or cool things down, and I'm totally open to suggestions, as long as you are open to hearing, "Hell no."
I Am More Than A Little Sensitive
My nipples hurt. A lot. They are super sensitive. Same goes for my clitoris. Gentle touches are appreciated because, right now, it doesn't take much.
I Feel Self-Conscious
It Feels Weird To Make The First Move
For the next few months, it may feel weird for me to climb on your lap or throw myself at you. Again, I have this foreign, ungainly body, and I don't want to hurt you.
I Have Physical Limits
Some positions are simply not gonna work. At all. Some feel good, some hurt, and some are awkward as hell. Have patience and a sense of humor as we figure things out.
I Need Positive Reinforcement
You seriously can't compliment me enough right now (especially when I am naked). If I ask you how I look in an outfit, or nothing at all, please be honest but also gentle. I need all the positive vibes I can get. (Speaking of vibes, I like those, too.)
I Might Need More Foreplay Than Usual
Pregnancy seriously changes your vagina. I am both super sensitive, and also pretty dry at the same time. I might need a little more foreplay than usual to get things started, or it might be time to break out the lube.
Wow. I Mean, Wow.
You are amazing. Seriously. Sex with you has always been great, but pregnancy sex with you is spectacular. I know there have been times when you have felt insecure or afraid that I am not satisfied, but please don't worry.
I feel so lucky (pun intended) to have you in my life and to share such a satisfying sex life with you. Thanks for being understanding and creative. I am certain we'll need both of these things after baby gets here.