Let me give you a little tip when it comes to commenting on pregnant women's bodies (or any woman's body): don't. Seriously, if you must, just say something positive like, "You look amazing." Almost anything else could get you some serious and extremely warranted side-eye. I asked moms to share the worst thing they heard after they started showing and, just as I suspected (because clearly not enough people have heard my tip, yet) it wasn't pretty.
Even when people think they're paying a pregnant woman a compliment, they're probably being rude. For example, when they tell a woman she's, "Barely showering," or says, "I couldn't even tell you were pregnant!" you could be talking to someone who has been struggling to conceive or body-conscious. Your "compliment" just turned hurtful, my friend.
I showed quickly and had to suffer that one pretty horrible "pregnancy game" when strangers or acquaintances try to guess how far along you are. They always fail miserably (because, you know, they're not doctors) and then exclaim, "Wow! You look like you're ready to pop!" Well, um, thanks for that, I guess? I also had the unenviable task of looking for a new job while pregnant. This involved carefully choosing baggy outfits to conceal my growing bump, and artfully sitting at an angle during interviews while wondering the whole time if the interviewer could tell that I was pregnant.
Growing a new life is challenging in many ways, but (for most of us) those challenges are nothing when dealing with those nonsense comments pregnant women have to put up for 40 (more or less) weeks. Comments, unfortunately, the following women know all too well:
"My boss took one look at my stomach and said, very sarcastically, 'Fantastic. Thanks a lot!' I think she thought my sole motivation for getting pregnant was to make her job harder!"
"I am a mom to four kids. When I got pregnant with baby #5, my mother-in-law noticed my growing tummy and muttered, 'Can't you two just watch a movie or something?' Nice."
"My best friend and I were shopping for jeans. She came into the changing room unannounced and laughed at my pot belly. Then she suddenly looked shocked and said, 'Oh my God, no, your life is over!' Really supportive"
"I was up for a promotion and my work rival was going after the same position. I hadn't told anyone about my pregnancy but, on the morning my boss was announcing his decision, my rival brought me a little teddy bear and said, 'Good luck for today, but I think they're looking for someone that can stick around.' Then he pointed at my stomach.
It totally took my breath away and made me really insecure, but an hour later my boss gave me the promotion. Success is the best revenge!"
"My toddler didn't really understand that I was pregnant until my tummy popped out, then he loudly told his preschool teacher, 'My mommy's not fat, there's a baby in there.' Thanks, kid"
"I was trying on clothes and the shop assistant said, 'I think you need the next size, like last month.' Meow!"
"My mom said, 'Well, that's that. Your figure is gone now.' I was only 12 weeks pregnant!"
"My boyfriend said, 'Do all women get this fat?' It was a rough week for him after that!"
"My partner took one look at me getting out of the shower and said, 'Wow, I bet you can't even see your bush anymore!' Yeah, guess who else wont be looking at my bush?!"
"My little sister, who is a teenager, spotted my bump and screamed 'Again?!' Then she stormed upstairs."
"My work colleague looked totally shocked when I announced my pregnancy. She kept staring at my stomach and opening and closing her mouth. Finally she said, 'But I thought you were gay?!' I am, and I own a uterus, too. Go figure! I think she's still trying to get her head around it!"