Most women who’ve experienced pregnancy would likely agree that there are only a handful of perks to the whole process, including but not limited to: extra excuses for rest and food (assuming that the nausea has passed), the thoughtful well wishes your loved ones send you, and the baby at the end of it all. Oh, and of course, the party held in your honor. Still, even as a fully-functioning adult there are some questionable traditions that make frequent appearances, so I can’t help but imagine what a baby probably thinks about baby showers. Are they excited? Confused? Inspired? Energized by all the attention they’re getting before they’ve even left the womb? Excited about the toys and the clothes and the more toys? If only there were a way to unlock these great mysteries of the universe.
All questions aside, I really like baby showers (as flawed as they can be and as intricate as they've become). So, as a fan of said blessed event, it should come as no surprise that I loved — and did not take for granted — the baby showers I had. Personally, I wish it were more socially acceptable to dress up and share brunch and gifts with my favorite people on a regular basis, celebrating all of our life decisions (whether it's to have a baby or to go for that corporate office job with the corner office).
Alas, until I’ve enacted major change on this front, for the time being we’re left with baby showers as they currently stand: a ritual that may or may not leave all outsiders, including babies, slightly confused but probably, in the end, very happy. So, in the name of complete presumption, here's what your baby is probably thinking while hearing all that joyous noise outside the womb: