Dating as a single mom is not for the faint of heart. On one hand, people judge the hell out of you for dating in the first place. But on the other hand? Well, let's just say my misadventures in dating as a single mom could probably fill a book, and it would definitely be more of a comedy or horror novel than a romance. Most of the single moms I know have had at least one dating experience that makes them shudder, and can share some pretty creepy things their dates have actually said to them.
I'm sad to say that most of the people I dated as a single parent turned out to be major creeps. Sometimes, I figured it out before our date. I mean, there were so many married men, you guys. So. Many. Other times, however, I wasn't so lucky. Men made comments about my body, because apparently every woman wants to hear that she doesn't look like she has had two kids. They made comments about my kids, which wouldn't have been creepy, except I realized that they had stalked me on social media and were commenting about photos I had posted. Then there were the dudes who offered to marry me and become my kids' new dad... on the first date. No thanks. I honestly don't even want to talk about the guy who told me he wanted to tie me up and watch his wife "pleasure me." I was not interested. Not in his proposal and, after that encounter, dating in general.
Fortunately for me, the last date I went on as a single mom was with the man I now call my husband, so my experiences as a dating single mom are over. I feel lucky now that I no longer have to hear dates say lowkey creepy things, like the following things my single mom friends have heard. I have to warn you, some of these are seriously gross. Shudders.
"I had a guy I was messaging on Bumble tell me he could find my address within two hours, based on the information I had given him. I quietly unmatched. Ick."
"I have six kids. They have the same dad — yeah, that was a common question. I got asked whether they were birthed via C-section. Because, you know, my 'love tunnel' might be ruined otherwise. I also got asked if I was breastfeeding and if I'd be willing to let a dude get milk, while I was nursing my baby on the other side. Because 'there's one not being used.'"
"I had a date tell me if we had kids it would be a boy. Eeeep. Walks out of restaurant slowly."
"I had a guy take me to a pizza joint, and then, when I told him I was teaching myself how to make bread and pasta, immediately told me I had better keep up with my running."
"Him: 'Your last name sounds Hispanic. Are you Hispanic?'
Me: 'No. My ex-husband is Puerto Rican. I didn’t change my name back.”
Him: 'A dirty Rican, huh? What, white guys don’t have big enough d*cks for you?'"
"None of them have been lowkey:
'Oh, you have kids, that means you must put out.'
'After I smash you in the bedroom, I'm going to smash your kids snacks in the kitchen.'
'Bet that p*ssy doesn't even feel like a kid passed through.'
'Can I call you mommy, too?'"
"A guy I had met through friends wanted to know if he could 'sleep on my couch.' We'd been on one date, and he lived almost an hour away. I laughed it off until he took me home and actually tried to come upstairs."
"He said, 'Meet me at my house, bring $10.00.' It was supposed to be a first date. He refused to tell me what $10.00 was for, and then he told me that he expected me to be comfortable being tied up, because he wouldn’t have sex with women who wouldn’t be tied up. My friends and I still call him 'the serial killer.'"
"A guy I met on Tinder, who lives on my street, told me he knew where I lived from seeing me around. I didn't see that as a red flag. We had a date. It was nice, he was not as attractive as his picture. Then, he started messaging me about how in the '80s they found dead babies in the sewers where we lived. I told him that was a f*cked up thing to say to a single mom of a 1- and 2-year-old. His story was clearly made up, graphic, sociopathic and I asked him to stop several times before leaving the conversation."
"I was pregnant, someone who used to be my friend said, 'Oh, so you're going to be a MILF now?'"
"Can I taste your breast milk?"
"'Hey baby, I’ll be a great stepdad' to me, at the grocery store, in front of my children.
'I asked you out because I have a MILF fetish.'
'How often do you send them to their dad’s, because I need at least a few days a week when I’m your priority.'”
"I wanna take care of you and your kid."
"I went out on a date with a guy, and he referenced my boobs saying, 'Looks like your kid was good for something.' I promptly got up and left."
"I had a date who was fascinated by my daughter, or rather the thought of her, since I didn't introduce them. Ever. He kept asking me questions about her development level and physical development. He said he was fascinated by how females grow up."
Watch Romper's new video series, Romper's Doula Diaries:
Check out the entire Romper's Doula Diaries series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.