When becoming a parent, communication between partners often becomes more utilitarian than anything else. Instead of saying "I love you" you say, "Pass me a diaper, please." Instead of saying, "We need a date night" you say, "We need more wipes." Frequently we forget to thank our partners or let them know how well they’re doing as a parent or ask them if they need help. So I asked several moms to share the one thing they wish they heard more from their partners, and what they revealed was way more varied and interesting than what I had initially expected.

As a mother myself, I can attest to how very different the conversations I shared with my partner pre-baby were when compared to the discussions we had post-baby and as new, sleep-deprived, clueless parents. Before our son came along, we definitely checked in with each other more. We discussed work, or talked about the shows we were watching, or what we might do that weekend. We had the occasional late-night conversation about the existence of other beings or whether we’ll ever get to other planets in our lifetime or what might happen to us once we’re no longer on this planet.

Now, don't get me wrong: we still talk about these things occasionally. If we really take a hard look at our relationship now, though, a large chunk of our talks center around our son and our family. So sometimes I just wish my partner would ask me more about what I’m writing that day, or what I’d like to write, or even better, how he can give me the time to finally write the books that are still floating around in my head. You know, things that have absolutely nothing to do with motherhood or parenting. Things that make me feel like even at the end of a day filled with toddler-tantrums and poop-filled diapers, I'm still me. So, with that in mind and because it's always worth remembering that a mother is more than her ability to parent, here's what a few moms wish their partners said to them: