If you have an opinion on how I’m raising my kids, get in line. Even though I’m lucky enough to have a great group of mom friends who support one another and avoid judgment, because we’re smart enough to know that tearing each other down is a sure way to perpetuate the patriarchy, I can’t avoid life’s haters. So I fully expect to get flak for choosing to circumcise my son and not apologizing about it. Like, I’m not even #sorrynotsorry about it.
The decision to circumcise our 1-day-old son did not come easily. My partner and I were informed, so we knew what we were asking the doctor to do to him. The hospital where he was born dictated that we were not allowed to be present for the procedure, which freaked me out. My baby was going to have skin snipped off of him and I couldn’t be there to comfort him? That, admittedly, is a difficult pill to swallow. And when he was brought back to me in my recovery room, he looked stunned. “What have we done?” I wailed to my husband, scooping the baby up and pressing his little body into me.
Then my son nursed, fell asleep, and woke up like any other typical newborn, completely incapable of holding a grudge about what his parents chose to do to his genitals.
I will never feel great about deciding to circumcise my tiny baby boy, but it’s a decision my partner and I made with clarity and reason. I can’t have regrets. If, in the end, it turns out to have been a mistake and he’s furious with us for having that done to him, I will need to deal with it.
But there is no way I’m apologizing to anyone else for making this personal parenting decision, and here’s why: