Actually, Being Pregnant In The Fall Is The Damn Worst

I might sound like a stereotypical white girl, but I love Fall. Seriously, it's the best season. I love cool nights sitting on the porch or around a fire, the earthy smell of fallen leaves, baking pies, sweater and boot weather, pumpkin spice anything, being able to stop shaving my damn legs, and Halloween. I mean, what's not to love? Apparently the answer to that question is being pregnant. There are so many reasons why being pregnant in the Fall is the worst. The worst.

I should know, too. I've been pregnant three times, and each time I was pregnant during the Fall months. My first was due in May, so I was in my first trimester in the Fall. That unfortunately meant morning sickness during Halloween, sleeping through President Barack Obama's win on election night, and not fitting into my kick*ss Halloween costume. Ugh. My second was due right after Halloween. I was so excited to potentially have a Halloween baby, but no, the little ghoul didn't comply. I did learn that it's absolutely impossible to dress your pregnant body in the Fall — one minute it was 80 degrees and I was sweating through my maternity leggings, and the next minute it was 30 degrees and I could only fit flip flops on my swollen feet. I spent last year's Fall months pregnant with my youngest, and was excited because I thought my second trimester — the magical trimester — might actually be fun during Fall. Nope. It turns out I was still nauseated on Halloween and Thanksgiving, which meant no candy and no pie.

I came to the conclusion (and rightfully so) that being pregnant during the Fall is the absolute worst. Here are a few reasons why:

Because You're Pregnant On Halloween

I love Halloween. It is, without a doubt, my favorite holiday. So I thought being pregnant on Halloween would be awesome, but no. It's really not. Fun maternity costumes are awesome, sure, until people ask you if you are "really pregnant" or you find out that you can't fit into the costume you bought. And the things people say to pregnant women on Halloween make everything kind of the worst. Yes, I am going to eat another piece of candy; no you can't touch my belly; no, it's not a beach ball under my shirt; hell no, you can't check. OMFG.

Because You Have To Skip Fun Fall Traditions

I love Fall traditions, like pumpkin patches, apple orchards, haunted houses, trick or treating, and scary movies. When pregnant, though, I was too tired or sore to enjoy them. And if there wasn't a bathroom (or seven) close by, the probability that I would pee my pants was high. Too high, actually.

Because It's Impossible To Buy The Right Maternity Clothes

In the Fall it ca be super cold in the morning and evening, and unbearably hot during the day. Well, at least that's how the weather pans out where I live. So when I was pregnant I had to buy twice the number of maternity clothes than I normally would have.

Because You're Pregnant On Thanksgiving

I hate Thanksgiving. I always have. However, when I'm not pregnant and Thanksgiving gets too difficult for me to handle, there is always the option to drink away the pain. When you are pregnant, well, that's not an option. Then there's pie. Magical pie. Surely I can have a slice or two and make up for it? Well, sure, if I want to hear at least one or two relatives ask me if I should have that considering how much weight I've gained or have to throw up in someone else's bathroom. No thanks.

Because You're Pregnant During Fall Race Season

If you aren't a runner, you probably won't understand how hard it is to be pregnant during Fall race season. Fall is the perfect season for running, and I had to miss out and watch all of my runner friends post their race reports and selfies on social media.

Because The Things You Love Make You Nauseated

I love pie. It's the best. As a vegetarian, pie and mashed potatoes are literally the only reason to attend Thanksgiving. There's this thing, though, that happens when you throw up after eating a favorite food: you forever taint your future enjoyment of that food. My pregnancies did that for Thanksgiving. See also: Halloween candy, apples, and pumpkin spice lattes. I still love pie, but damn, is nothing sacred?

Because You Can No Longer Fit Into Your Cute Fall Boots

My feet, ankles, and calves got so swollen during my second pregnancy that I could only wear flip flops, even when it started to get seriously cold outside. All of my adorable boots were left, alone, in my closet. Bummer.

Because The Change In Weather Can Make You Feel Sad

I get sad as Fall comes to a close anyway, but when I was pregnant and had prenatal depression it was so bad, you guys. Not only was my beloved pumpkin spice replaced by pine trees and peppermint, but the weather changing and stress of the approaching holidays is enough to bring even the biggest of Fall lovers down.

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