Hello, my name is Steph, and I'm a recovering "crunchy" mom. That's right, I was a granola-eating, organic vegetable-growing, herbal tea-drinking, hybrid car-driving, midwife-birthing, documentary-watching, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth-diapering, baby food-making, smoothie-drinking, health food-eating, crunchy mom. That is, until I realized being a crunchy just wasn't for me. Now, while I still do some of those things, there are a ton of things I'd rather be than a crunchy mom.
Of course, this isn't a knock on other crunchy moms, in any capacity. I know that what doesn't work for me works for someone else, and visa versa, so how anyone chooses to parent should be respected. It's just that, for me, personally, being a "crunchy" mom just didn't work out. What I thought would fit my lifestyle, and the lifestyle for my family, didn't. So, honestly, I'd rather be relaxed and calm instead of anxious and depressed all of the time. Life is so much easier now that I don't put so much pressure on myself to achieve what I initially believed to be parenting perfection, and I am a way better mom as a "hot mess" than I ever was when I was trying to be "crunchy." Mostly, I think, because I realized that, in the words of Voltaire, "The perfect is the enemy of the good." In other words, trying so hard to be perfect interfered with both my ability to be happy with my life and my confidence as a mother.
I also saw and heard so much judgment and mom-shaming from my crunchy mom friends, and they expected me to join in, which is so not my style. What I observed was a ton of people attempting perfection and associating certain "crunchy things" with a perceived ideal motherhood, which can really interfere with your happiness when you realize that motherhood is intrinsically imperfect. I realized that several things crunchy moms are expected to do, like breastfeed, stay-at-home, cook meals, babywear, co-sleep, and buy organic produce, are only possible when you have the time, money, and ability to do them. Many people, including myself, don't have that time or money or ability. I had some serious unpacking to do about my own privilege, and I realized that there are so many things I'd rather be than a crunchy mom, including: