Our society has some pretty unfair and unrealistic expectations of new moms. We are supposed to "bounce back" instantaneously, as if growing a human isn't a shock to your body. Pregnancy is hard AF in every way imaginable, and you need time and space to recover as a result. I, for one, would like heal without having to answer the intrusive, presumptive, and insensitive questions people think are OK to ask new moms. Seriously, time to shut the ole yapper, because there are some things that you don't get to ask me when I'm postpartum. Seriously.
I just had my third baby, and despite having a relatively good idea about how hard postpartum recovery would be. Still, and even though I've lived the postpartum life before, I feel a ton of pressure to do everything perfectly and that, well, is impossible.. I am expected to breastfeed my baby exclusively and never put them down, but also to lose the baby weight right away, keep the house clean, and put on pants. This is all hard to do, especially on the days when I can't even get out of bed. I also feel like I'm supposed to magically ensure that my baby sleeps through the night (as if I have any say in the matter), but also attend to their every need the moment I hear a single, solitary peep. Some people think I should stay home forever, others think I should go back to work. I just think I'm tired AF.
It's really no wonder that some people think recovering from childbirth is no big deal. On television shows and in movies, pregnant people seem to stop by the hospital to give birth like they're getting a massage. There are no 30-hour labors, vaginal tearing, or bodily fluids, and then it's as if they remove basketballs from under their shirts and walk out with a baby, looking well-rested and wearing their pre-pregnancy jeans. Um, no. That's not how it works. The moment you have a baby, the countdown starts for you to go back to being you. The trouble there is that everything changes when you have a baby. You have to find a new "normal," and that takes time, or in my case, an act of wizardry because I will never be normal. In the meantime, I just wish people would stop asking me so many damn questions: