Life

10 Times Your Kid Was A Better Functioning Adult Than You Are

There's no denying that being a parent is, at times, both chaotic and anxiety inducing. Kids are just a little bit crazy, and meeting their often unreasonable demands can make even the best of us crack on occasion. The funny thing about this undeniable fact is that, despite how difficult little humans can be, there are actually times when kids are better functioning adults than us actual adults could ever hope to be. Oh, the irony.

Kids might be irrational on occasion (read: usually if not all the damn time), and their public tantrums are unbearable, but despite the fact that toddlers can be kind of terrible, they usually handle life way better than adults could ever hope to. To a child, the world is a big, beautiful, and mysterious playground, and their sole purpose in life is to discover this playground and all of its wonderment. That's really all they're concerned about. They could care less about budgeting for groceries or if their snacks have been recalled because, well, that's our job. Kids can't be bothered with the mundane realities of adulthood (seriously though, check your cabinets for recalled vegetables!) which, in a round about and pretty much hilarious way, makes them better at it.

Us adults could actually stand to learn a thing or two from our toddlers, like how to handle the following ten things like we aren't children. It's time for us to grow up, you guys.

Any Time There's A Bug In Your Presence

I seriously doubt that I'm the only one who becomes an Olympic sprinter whenever something with more than four legs comes within ten feet of me (at least I hope not). My son told me that he had a present for me a while back, so like any good mother, I went along with his little game and opened up my hands to receive my gift. "Close your eyes," he said, so I did. "There ya go!" he proudly exclaimed as I looked down in my hands at horror at the "gift" I had been given. It was a dead spider. I promptly freaked out.

When You're In Traffic

I don't live in a big city with a ton of traffic, but I'm still infuriated on a daily basis by the amount of incompetent drivers I encounter. As a result of my apparent road rage, before we load the family up in the car to go somewhere, my son tells his father that we're getting in "mommy's race car." He enjoys hearing the horn honk and watching the slow cars drive in the fast lane. He also loves big trucks blocking off the entire highway, which I obviously don't.

Every Morning Ever

Kids don't need alarm clocks or snooze buttons. They're perfectly happy to wake up at the crack of dawn to seize the day. I don't get why kids fight sleep, and why they love to be awake so much or so early, but they definitely handle mornings better than adults. I mean, they don't even need coffee. I don't get it.

Mondays

Most kids don't know the difference between Monday or Tuesday or Saturday, or any other day for that matter. Even if they're in school, they probably actually look forward to Mondays so that they can see their friends and hang out with other like-minded kids who also love Mondays. Weirdos.

For my partner and I, Sunday nights are a sad time. It seems like Monday seeps into our Sunday before we've come to terms with the end of our weekend, but our kids don't know the difference. They look forward to tomorrow, no matter what day tomorrow actually is.

When Your Favorite Show Ends

I hope I'm not the only one who goes into mourning after my favorite Netflix show ends. Binge watching isn't a habit that I'm proud of, but when you've got kids and you can't exactly go out Friday night, watching hours upon hours of the latest, addicting show is about as close to a crazy night as a parent is going to get.

It's great while it lasts, but I have no sense of self control when it comes to Orange Is The New Black, so I can easily get through an entire season in a single weekend. Once it's over though, the depression sets in. When my kid's favorite show ends, he goes on about his life. He finds some pots and some pans and starts a kitchen band and doesn't think twice about when the next episode of whatever show he's into will come on.

When Getting Dressed

My kids have definitely thrown tantrums about having to put on pants, which I totally relate to. However, and for the most part, getting dressed isn't a thorn in their side like it is mine. They don't care whether their shirt matches their socks or if their hair is perfectly in place or if their pants make them look like a muffin (denim is so incredibly stupid, by the way). All they care about is that their attire will allow them to navigate the monkey bars with ease.

The Unfortunate Side Effects Of Each Season

As an adult, I love my climate control. In the winter, I crank up the heat to keep our house cozy, and in the summer I blast the AC to keep the family from melting out of their skin. Where I live, it gets extremely hot and humid in the summer time, so unless there's a body of water around to cool off in, we typically stay inside.

Even the walk from the house to the car is miserably hot and gives me anxiety, but my kids couldn't care less. They don't care that our driveway turns into an ice slab in the winter either, or that that could break a leg on it. They just slide their little bodies across it and squeal with joy. I envy their ability to adapt.

During The Holidays

I remember a time when holidays were a joyous occasion as a kid. Now that I'm the adult preparing meals for an entire family of cousins and uncles and grandparents, and hunting down and wrapping individual presents for each of them while still not breaking the bank (because, hello budget), holidays are slightly less elating. Actually, they're really freaking stressful. I do my best to keep my cool and not stress out but, admittedly, I fail on a pretty frequent basis.

My kids, however, are just as happy as can be to have an entire family to perform for. They don't care if anyone drinks too much or eats too much or doesn't help clean up when all is said and done. They just care that they're there, and that's something that I definitely need to get better at.

When Dealing With People They Don't Like

I like pretty much everyone I meet, but I'm human and, well, there's a few people in my life that I'd rather not associate with. As an adult, it's important that I go about my relationships, both professional and social, like a, well, adult. And I do, but that doesn't mean that I enjoy being the bigger person, or stressing out about being cordial and polite to people that I really just want to serve up a verbal lashing to.

My kids have come across some bad apples at the park before, too, and watching how they handled the kid who threw mulch at them really opened up my eyes. They told him that it wasn't nice and that they didn't like it, and they moved their gathering to the other side of the playground. They were honest and firm. They got to the point and moved on with their lives because they didn't want some bully to infringe on their playtime. Duly noted, kids.

When Making Friends

I consider myself a pretty social person. I like meeting new people and experiencing new things, but when it comes to making new friends, I get nervous. I worry about saying the wrong thing or that someone won't understand my weird humor. I worry that I'll drink too much and they'll think I'm alcoholic, or if I don't drink at all, they'll think I'm a prude. It's ridiculous really.

My kids, though? Yeah, they don't care about what other kids think about them. They walk up to a kid playing with a toy truck, and since they love toy trucks, too, they're automatically best friends. It's like, "Hey, you like plastic cars? Me too. Let's be best friends forever."

I guess the point of all this is that although kids might be frustrating, and teaching them about every aspect of life can certainly be difficult, sometimes it's worthwhile and beneficial to stop and take note of how they act and perceive the world. Our kids can teach us a lot about how to live a great life, if we would just pay attention.