You know when a couple happily announces “we’re pregnant” and you cringe because they are not pregnant, only one person is pregnant (unless the couple is female and they are sporting simultaneous pregnancies, in which case, they are the best couple ever)? Well, I'm telling you to stop cringing. It’s time to stop hating on the fathers-to-be, people. Because we are failing to realize, ladies, all the painful things husbands of pregnant women deal with. Trust me, we get off way too easy with the swollen ankles, heightened sense of smell, and perpetual exhaustion. Our husbands have it so much worse.
They don’t share their pain with us, either, which only exacerbates their unfathomable discomfort. They are truly suffering in silence for the duration of those nine months, watching from the sidelines of the toilet where we’re heaving up our breakfast of saltines. Our husbands don’t want us to shift our concern from taking care of ourselves, and our growing fetuses, to taking care of them. So, like the valiant white knights they are, they keep the pain of not actually being pregnant from us. So you'll only hear the rarest, most passive-aggressive indication that, hey, this is hard for your husband, too.
They will never feel the pressure of a giant skull on their organs. They will never know the sleeplessness that comes from worrying about the 10 minutes they accidentally fell asleep on their backs. They will never have to worry if their co-workers will question their value as an employee now that the've made the life choice to become a parent. They will miss out on all these magical circumstances that only come from gestating a fetus inside your body.
So we, fellow moms, are the lucky ones. Our agony lies in our near-bursting bras, and stretches across our ever-expanding abdomens. We will never know what husbands of pregnant women deal with, and the pain of these things for them: