Pregnancy and childbirth can be really scary, especially if you're experiencing it for the first time, have unexpected symptoms, or health conditions. That's why it's so important to find an experienced provider you can trust, with whom you can have honest conversations and even ask seemingly stupid questions. When I was interviewing certified nurse midwives to help me manage my pregnancies and catch my babies, I asked all the questions. However, and even though I thought I made great choices, there were so many moments when my midwife made me feel scared.
There are some exceptional midwives and some lousy OB-GYNs and, of course, there are some incredible OB-GYNs and some pretty bad midwives. Unfortunately, you don't always know which kind you'll be working with, until something happens and you need extra support, information, or advice. Even the best providers have bad days or make bad calls because, you know, at the end of the day they're still human beings. The best provider can have a lousy bedside manner or seriously put their foot in their mouth about a negative test result or potential (and usually very scary) possibility. However, when things are scary or serious a pregnant mom-to-be deserves to know the truth (and have all the relevant information) so they can make informed decisions about their health and their pregnancy; which is why the mistakes any provider may or may not make, comes with some serious consequences.
I believe and sincerely hope that midwives (or anyone else that is caring for another human being) don't mean to be scary. There's just something about speculums, paper gowns, and envelopes with test results that cause me to break into a cold sweat and cause my heart rate to soar. So, with that in mind, here are some of the ways my midwives scared me, whether they meant to or not.