Romper

13 Signs You're Raising A Jedi, And Totally Winning The Parenting Game

Courtesy of Liza Wyles

When I called one of my best friends shortly after the birth of my first kid, she immediately asked, “Is it a ‘Luke’ or a ‘Leia’?” She knew how much Star Wars means to fans like me, and the likelihood of me naming my children after Star Wars characters was pretty high. I didn’t go that far, for better or worse, but my equally Star Wars obsessed husband and I are unapologetically raising Jedi children.

For starters, we showed the kids the first trilogy when they were young. Like, really young, as in before my older one could read. That’s quite a commitment, if you think about it and if you ask me. Reading the scrolling text in the prologues of each film out loud with every screening (and there have been many) is a major time investment. My husband and I both entered our relationship, over a decade ago, with our own Star Wars paraphernalia — action figures, books, branded coffee mugs — and having kids means we’ve only added to our collection over the course of birthdays and holidays. By “holidays,” of course, I mean Mothers’ Day when the kids gifted me with a Princess Leia bobblehead one year. I mean, they're just the best.

Other than the Star Wars swag around our apartment, our kids themselves are evidence that all things Star Wars are deeply engrained in our family dynamic. My daughter models her imaginary play on the adventures of Rey from Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and my son punctuates all this speech with blaster sounds. Of course, there are other hints we’re getting from our kids that tell me we're taking this Star Wars thing to another level. While they may appear to be typical behaviors from an 8 and 5-year-old, I interpret these as signs I’m raising Jedi and, yes, I'm proud.

Sentence Structure From Yoda They’ve Learned

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This usually applies to Padawans under the age of five, or to children who share a special bond with their Star Wars-loving parents.

They Use The Force Every Chance They Get

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By force, of course, I mean whining for me to retrieve something for them from another room. They will never master this skill, as The Force is much stronger with this Jedi, but they won’t stop practicing.

They Flirt With The Dark Side

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Why else would they stack a garbage can on top of chair to try to reach the chocolate syrup in the high cabinet? This is definitely the work of a Sith!

They Are Very In Touch With Their Feelings

Courtesy of Liza Wyles

Unfortunately, they don’t hold back much, what with the full-on tantrums and such. However, the flip side is that they unabashedly vocalize what a fine time they’re having, and there is no sweeter sound than their laughter.

Every Object Is A Lightsaber To Them

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Paper towel tubes. Pencils. Forks. My tampons. It all works.

They Can Sense Things

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Like walking into the room just as some profanity is blurted out in a TV show I'm watching. Or that their Halloween candy is not just "magically" disappearing.

Jedi Mind Tricks Are Kind Of Their Thing

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Kid: “Can I have a snack?”

Me: “No, dinner’s in an hour.”

Kid: “But that’s a long time. I’m hungry now.”

Me: “If you eat now, you won’t be hungry for dinner.”

Kid: “So can dinner be now?”

They Are Rigid In Their Definition Of Good And Evil

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As in, they did nothing wrong, everyone else is lying and those cookie crumbs under the bed were there when we moved in. That may be living by the Jedi code, but it's also pushing my buttons.

They Believe They're Invincible

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They'd have this feeling even if they weren’t Star Wars-obsessed. I get it; kids wield so little power on this planet (and Tatooine) so this is a little lie they may need to tell themselves sometimes.

Capes Are Wardrobe Staples

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Merchandisers need to get their acts together; the superhero cape trend is over. Do any of these comic book characters sport them anymore? (I am not counting Thor because he is technically a god.) So, if your kid is wearing a cape, she is channeling her inner Jedi.

They Are Convinced They Can Control You

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This is evidenced in their nonchalant requests for a second dessert, or when they emerge from their rooms in February, dressed for school in a sundress. Admittedly, I’m sometimes in awe of their confidence in thinking they can simply will the world to bend to their expectations. I feel I should take a lesson here.

They Are Always Ready To Do Battle

Courtesy of Liza Wyles

This may be unique to my kids (but please, tell me I'm not alone), but they love to counter everything I say. Time to wake up? No, five more minutes. Time for bed? No, five more minutes. Time to hand off the tablet? No, five more minutes. I am not sure how minutes translate into parsecs, but it is infuriating, nonetheless.

Their Training Is Never Complete

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That’s where Darth Vader went wrong, right? He thought his Jedi training was done and that he had mastered all the skills, but really what he had done was cheat, leaning into the Dark Side to give him his evil powers. I give my children no false indication that they will ever be done in their quest for becoming better people. I thought I had finally reached a top-functioning level of adulthood. Then, of course, I had kids.