In case you were unaware, not all relationships work out the way people hope. I know, this is shocking and definitely brand new information. Brace yourself for another life-changing revelation: sometimes people in relationships have kids, and even the presence of those kids doesn't stop breakups from happening. I know! You totally never knew that, right? And then the parents are left to figure out how to co-parent and exist in the world as an uncoupled person with kid(s). Which is why, sorry not sorry, being a single mom is harder than being a single dad. Always. The two are just dramatically difficult, and those difference create a slew of difficulties that are not all experienced equally.
As a rule, I like to avoid conversations that attempt to cleanly differentiate between how men experience something and how women experience the same thing. Admittedly, drawing this line can effectively illuminate key differences that definitely do exist, and when thoughtfully synthesized, those differences can produce conclusions that are rich with insights about how men and women exist in the world. So, I'm not dismissing the practice of delineating along gender lines. But I still avoid it when I can, if only because most people are not thoughtful and do not endeavor to pull out those great insights. No, with most people drawing bold lines around how different people experience things just gives people one more way to lazily assume they know everything about an individual's life based solely one which boxes they're checking.
So it is with some hesitation that I have to point out the big differences between being a single mom and being a single dad, but they are so profoundly true and consequential and altogether result in a situation that is exponentially more brutal for women than men.
The details, it goes without saying, vary based on so many variables about everyone's specific lives, but for the most part, here are some of the main reasons why being a single mom is wildly harder than being a single dad: