Bodies do so much for us. From the moment we’re born until the moment we die, our bodies do countless, miraculous and amazing things in order to keep us alive, and to make us feel as good as possible while we do it. Sadly, our bodies get a bad rap in our society. We try to force them to look a certain way, and we get mad at them if they don’t perform 100% exactly as we’re taught to expect, tendencies that become especially insidious when we become moms. I’ve resolved that there are certain positive things my kids will know about my relationship with my body, because I want to break the cycle of negativity I inherited from my own family of origin and from the broader culture.
I’m committed to modeling what it looks like to be body positive, and sex positive, because I know how easily we can be led to do things that aren’t in our best interest if and when we buy into destructive yet common myths about beauty, sex, and relationships. I love getting dressed up and playing with makeup as much as the next person, but with being a writer, activist, mom, wife, friend and so much else, I don’t have an extra seven or more hours a week to spend doing my hair and makeup just to feel worthy of being seen by strangers (like I used to years ago). I’ve seen too many friends and loved ones suffer through bad relationships and endure life-altering physical and emotional consequences as a result of prioritizing a partner’s demands (or a vague sense of what “everyone” is doing) over their own comfort. I don’t want that for myself, and I definitely don’t want that for my kids.