While October means Halloween for some and the changing of the leaves for others, for those of us who have lost a baby, it’s the time of year when we remember our departed children. October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness (PAIL) Month — a time to honor the memory of the little ones we lost, and to support loved ones who are mourning. And while most parents honor their losses every day, there are many bereaved parents who honor their losses during PAIL Month in a special, specific way. When there are events put together by non-profits, Instagram challenges (like CarlyMarie’s), and even more forms of remembrance bereaved parents express, the entire month is one of remembrance..
I must admit I don’t normally do anything during PAIL Month. I used to write a blog post during this month (or during World Prematurity Day in November) to commemorate my daughter, Margaret Hope, and her memory. But other years, I simply light a candle during the International Wave of Light (which takes place in the early evening of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, on the 15th).
This year, however, I decided to challenge myself. As a freelance writer who has also lost a baby, I feel it’s my duty to share stories of loss, as well as general advice and help for fellow loss parents. I’m proud of the work that I’ve done in honor of my daughter and for the loss community, and I think I’ll try and make this my tradition for every October to come. I also spoke with other loss parents, and this is what they did during the month to honor the babies they lost: