When you’re responsible for the care and feeding of a tiny human with poor limb control, embarrassing things are bound to happen. There will be spills, stains, and tears, from both of you (or all of you, depending on how many kiddos you have). It’s inevitable. Still, I’d argue that one of the things that separates grown-ass moms from the rest of us is the undeniable fact that grown-ass mom knows how to handle embarrassing mom moments. What seems to allude the good majority of us, comes second nature to a grown-ass mom.
When faced with a potentially uncomfortable situation, she either fixes them, shrugs them off, or generously documents them by posting a description (or better yet, a picture) on social media so the rest of us can learn from her amazingness. OK, I’m still waiting for that last one to start becoming a more popular option, but really, grown-ass moms, what are you waiting for? Share your knowledge, please.
Seriously though, I don’t think any mom I know is a grown-ass mom all the time, just like none of them are a hot mess all the time. We all have our moments and we all experience days that blend both sides of parenting coin. While not all of those days will involve embarrassing moments, some (read: most) will, so perhaps it’s time to take a deep dive into just how grown-ass moms handle them:
The Public Tantrum
Tantrums are a staple of parenthood. All parents of small children have been there before, and we’ll probably all be there again. However, that doesn’t mean it’s not uncomfortable.
Still, a grown-ass mom doesn’t let it rattle her, and manages the situation like the boss that she is (or, if it’s simply impossible she gets her kid out of there and doesn’t beat herself up over it).
The Public Diaper Blowout
Blowouts aren’t fun even in the comfort of your own home, when you can assess the situation via your own changing table. Add a strange and unfamiliar place to the mix and all of a sudden it’s extra messy.
A grown-ass mom almost always has what she needs to tackle some poop with her and, if she doesn't, she knows how to get it (since getting her kiddo cleaned up and changed is the priority).
The Spit-Uppy Shirt
A grown-ass mom can shrug this one off. Or, even better, she can put on a shrug, or a scarf, or an extra layer and pull herself together in no time flat.
When Mom Brain Leads You To Forget Something You Totally Should Know
It’s not that grown-ass moms never forget anything, or get afflicted with mom brain, because they totally do. It happens to all of us.
However, they are likely able to get past it much more quickly than the rest of us, who are often stuck in that awkward limbo of admitting we can’t remember someone’s name, or how we know each other, or you know, the age of our child, when we’re asked.
When Your Kid Makes An Inappropriate Or Insensitive Comment (Accidentally Or On Purpose)
Confession: my son is still young enough that this hasn’t happened yet, but I'm cringing just thinking about it. In a best-case scenario, I’d be able to resolve whatever was said quickly and easily and with impeccable timing, but in reality I’d probably be sinking down in my seat and fumbling for words.
A grown-ass mom, on the other hand, would be quick to remedy the situation gracefully.
When All The Other Moms Can Pull It Together And You’re The Only One Struggling
My mom’s group meets monthly, and most of the other moms bring their kids with them. Since our meeting is the same time my son's in daycare, I typically fly solo. Yet, for one reason or another, I'm one of the last to arrive, despite the fact that all the other moms have babies or small kids with them and I, um, don’t. A grown-ass mom would never let this happen.
When You’ve Left The House With A Woefully Understocked Diaper Bag
It’s happened to me on more than one occasion, and I’m not proud. The diaper has needed to come off when we’re away from home with no more diapers, or we’ve had to use dampened paper towels instead of wipes.
While it’s possible that a grown-ass mom would never let this happen in the first place, and would totally know better than to leave without double-checking the diaper bag, even a grown-ass mom isn’t perfect. She’s just likely to be able to fashion a cloth diaper out of her scarf, or something equally impressive.
When You Leak Breast Milk Through Your Shirt
I can’t begin to claim expertise at managing all of these situations, but this particular moment is one I've developed a handy trick for that has yet to fail me. Patterned shirts, guys. Lots of varying colors and shades and shapes so that even when a leak did happen, it was tough to see.
When You Thought You Were Actually Doing All Right, Then Realized Your Shirt’s On Backwards, Your Socks Don’t Match, And Your Ponytail Is Totally Wrecked
OK, a grown-ass mom would probably never let it get to this point, either. However, just in case the stars align and collude against her, she’d manage to pull through like she meant to look that way and like it was totally intentional (and she’d probably look chic while doing so).
The Public Diaper Change That’s Not Going Smoothly
I’m not a fan of public bathroom changing tables. I’d almost always opt for a change in the back of the car but that’s simply not always an option. That said, I feel like grown-ass moms can command the public changing table perhaps a little better than I can. Even when her kiddo isn’t cooperating, she doesn’t let it faze her (much).
When All The Other Moms Are Talking About Something Like You Should Know What It Is, But You Don’t
I predict this is going to start happening more and more as different families establish loyalties with certain television streaming systems. Our service of choice is Amazon Prime, at least for right now, so I’m fairly out of the loop on on Netflix originals. Although, of course, this extends far beyond TV programming, as I’m seeing various parenting books and methods and toys and trends dipping in and out of style in different friends groups, so there’s always room for catch-up.
A grown-ass mom wouldn’t be embarrassed that she doesn’t know something. Instead, she’d probably just ask for clarification and join in with the rest of the conversation.