8 Moms Reveal The Hilarious Ways They Explained Sex To Their Curious Kids

Ad failed to load

Let’s talk about sex, baby. Or rather, let’s talk about how to talk about sex when your baby inevitably asks about it. Yes, that’s right. There comes a time, in every parent’s life, when their child will ask, “Where do babies come from?” Some parents use the stork (read: lie) in order to get out of talking about sex and reproduction, while others like to be frank about the whole thing. But is there a right way to navigate this conversation? How exactly do moms explain sex to their curious toddlers and preschoolers?

My kid, for better or worse, isn’t all that curious yet. He’s 3, so he’s currently preoccupied with building lego towers (and then knocking them over). I’ve tried to start laying the foundation for future sex talks, though. I’ve explained his anatomy, and my anatomy, to him. I’ve told him that some kids are boys, some are girls, some use other pronouns (I usually just say “they use other names” since he doesn’t get what a pronoun is just yet), and that everyone’s free to be who they are. I’ve also explained how some families have a mom and dad, others have two moms or two dads, and that there are lots of other ways for people to be parents. He knows he was once living in my belly before he was born, but I’m waiting for him to ask the big questions. You know, like how he ended up in my belly in the first place.

As a mother, I have learned that often times other parents are the best source of information. After all, they've either been there, done that, or are currently going through the same trials and tribulations I'm attempting to survive. So I asked other moms how they explained sex to their kids, and this is what they had to say:

Ad failed to load

Ramsey, 36


“I got pregnant when my oldest was 2.5, and he needed answers. So many answers! He is an extremely literal kid who just wants the facts, please, and was not satisfied with the, ‘egg and sperm’ story. ‘How does the sperm get to the egg?!’ he asked. I ended up telling him that a man's penis fits into a woman's vagina like a stick in a hole. That satisfied him, and I remember sitting there afterward, laughing, wondering how on earth this once extremely prudish woman who could barely discuss sex without blushing had become this woman frankly describing intercourse with her toddler.”

Rhiannon, 36


“When my daughter was 4, and I was pregnant with my son, we had a conversation about where babies come from. Trying not to be too graphic about sex, but still get the details as correct as possible, I stumbled my way through the ‘how’ of the sperm getting to the egg.

She looked at me and said, ‘But... can I watch?’

And then I died.”

Katie, 36


“When [my daughter] was 3, 'a little piece from the mommy and a little piece from the daddy get together and make the baby’ was sufficient. But one day she asked, ‘But how does the baby get in there?’ At which point I got a book from the library. Now we have What Makes A Baby, which is kind of vague but [my son] loves it. He keeps saying that, ‘When I’m a grown up, I’ll have a “berm”.’ (The way the pictures are in the book, it seems like people only have one sperm). He also drew a sperm on his arm in black marker.”

Ad failed to load

Ariel, 38


“Well mine was when my daughter was 6 (in first grade, I believe). We’d had the general, ‘the penis goes in the vagina’ how-babies-are-made talk, but we’d kept it pretty simple. Then she comes home and she asked, ‘Mom, is there such a thing as butt sex?’ To which I replied calmly, ‘Well sweetie, how did you hear about that?’ And she told me that the fifth graders on the bus were talking about it. I took a deep breath and said, ‘Yes there is. Some people think it feels good.’ She said, ‘Do we have to do it?’ And I said, ‘Nope!’ And she said, ‘Gross! Oh good!’ And went about her merry way. I don’t lie to my kids about that stuff. I try to be a source of correct information because I want her to come to me. She’s 14 now and, so far, it’s working.”

Victoria, 33


“I think girls are so much more curious about that. My son is oblivious. He’s cool with the story. I said daddy put a seed that swims in mommy and it grew in my belly. He seems to have bought it for now. And I don’t feel like I’m lying. I feel bad telling him a stork brought him. Kids gonna be all (messed) up. I come from a bird? He seems content to be playing with Hot Wheels, so I’ll take it for now and relax.

But just wait till they get old. It’s so uncomfortable but (sic) necessary conversation. I've already been through it with my step-kids. I just scare them with pictures of herpes and say, ‘Even with a condom.’ Hoping that buys me a few more years of abstinence.”

Alejandra, 33


“My 4-year-old hasn’t asked. Just accepted there was a baby in my tummy. He did ask me if I ate it, though.”

Ad failed to load

Jenny, 39


“My daughter asked (when she was 5) how I got a baby in my belly and I just said when two people love each other they ‘kiss and stuff' and sometimes it makes a baby. She accepted it, so we stuck with that. She also thinks all babies are born thru a C-section because that’s how I had mine. I didn’t go out of my way to correct her. While I don’t believe in flat out lying (other than Santa), I also think it is good to hold on to their innocence as long as you can, especially in the world we live in today. I have talked to my oldest, who's 6, about shootings and drugs, though. Both tough conversations to have.”

Anne, 30


“Kid is 5 and I am pregnant. We read It's Not The Stork. I want her to know the details, but I'm not sure I would have explained it well.”

Check out Romper's new video series, Romper's Doula Diaries:

Watch full episodes of Romper's Doula Diaries on Facebook Watch.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

Umm, Toys "R" Us Has A BOGO 50 Percent Off Deal So You Better Stock Up

After the holidays, you were probably hoping that your kid's massive toy collection would keep him entertained for a little while, at least. But that was wishful thinking, wasn't it? Because now that a couple of months have passed, all those must-hav…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

Turns Out, Kim Kardashian's Favorite Mom Products Look A Lot Like Your Own Faves

Being a mom is really hard work, especially for the first few months, and Kim Kardashian West is no different in that regard. Now the mother of three, Kardashian says that there are a few products she just can't live without when it comes to raising …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

These 9 Instant Pot Recipes Will Make Even The Pickiest Eater Happy At The Table

Like any parent, I've had my share of parenting hits and misses, but one of my favorite "wins" is my daughter's diverse palate. I don't even know if I can take credit for it, but I would like to think I had something to do with her love for lentils, …
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

Soda Might Hurt Your Fertility, Study Says, & Here's What You Can Do

Who doesn't love sugary drinks? I stopped drinking soda years ago, but I still love gulping down those fancy Starbucks coffee beverages. I don't have a big sweet tooth, but I am a sucker for sugar-sweetened beverages every now-and-then. Turns out, th…
By Annamarya Scaccia

10 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 30s

If you're like me, you evaluate the pros and cons of any major life decision. When my husband and I were considering starting a family, I thought about my career, education, and financial stability. I wanted to know how a pregnancy and childbirth wou…
By Steph Montgomery

This Woman Thought She Had An Eyelash Stuck In Her Eye. Then It Moved.

I'm not a person who is easily icked out. As a kid, I collected bugs and thought I was going to be an entomologist and asked Santa Claus for ant farms and nets to catch bees. I'm still super curious about anything that flies and crawls, which might s…
By Karen Fratti

A Hot Mess Mom's Guide To Surviving Winter

As I sit here at my home office in Connecticut, it's cold. Damn cold. Winter is a rough season in New England and it's even worse when you're a parent and have to manage cooped up, restless children. It's even worse when you're a hot mess as it is, u…
By Jamie Kenney

5 Red Flags Your Toddler Isn't Eating Enough

Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters, at least in my experience. You offer mashed potatoes, they want french fries. You give them crackers, they scream for chips. It's frustrating, to be sure, but it's usually their way of vying for independence. It…
By Candace Ganger

11 Ways Your Pregnancy Will Be Different If You Have A Boy Vs A Girl

If you've been pregnant before, you might start comparing your previous pregnancies to that of your current pregnancy. A lot of things can change from pregnancy to pregnancy, based on a whole host of different factors (including how well you remember…
By Lauren Schumacker

35 Moms Share The Most Disgusting Things Their Husbands Do

I'm a human being who revels in challenges. I like when people present me with one, especially if they don't think I can meet or succeed it, and I like taking a challenge on, especially if it's unexpected. So when I aimed to uncover the most disgusti…
By Jamie Kenney

How Having Kids In Your 20s Affects You Later In Life

For parents, like myself, who had kids in their 20s, there are a number of questions that come to mind. When you're deciding what your future will look like, you'll likely consider what this means for your health, career, and more down the line. Thin…
By Tessa Shull

8 Reasons I Let My Toddler Play Outside Unsupervised

I'm not a helicopter mom, but I'm not exactly a free-range parent either. I like to think of myself as safely ensconced somewhere in the middle. I insist on certain safety measures, like car seats and helmets. I prefer to keep my 2-year-old in my sig…
By Kimmie Fink

12 Moms Share How They Stay Healthy During Flu Season

Unfortunately, we're in the middle of the roughest flu seasons in recent memory. And we’re not totally out of the woods, either. People around the country are still getting the flu, and, sadly, some of them are having to be hospitalized due to flu-re…
By Priscilla Blossom

8 "Mistakes" I'm Glad I Made During My First Pregnancy

As an adult, I've learned you never really stop hating being told what to do. When I was pregnant I was getting instructions at every turn, from doctors, relatives, and complete strangers on the subway. I would nod and smile but then go about making …
By Liza Wyles

Study: Drinking Two Glasses Of Wine A Day Is Good For Your Mind — Here's Why

There’s more scientific proof that a daily drink or two isn't necessarily a bad thing and could have a place in an overall healthy lifestyle. A new study out of the University of Rochester Medical Center (URMC) in New York found that — in mice, at le…
By Tiffany Thomas

Research Says Eating Carbs Can Lead To A Healthy Pregnancy, So Bring On The Pasta

In the world of me, no food is better than bread. I know it's supposed to be pretty terrible for you, high in calories, low in protein, and full of that modern-day demon, gluten... but guys, it's really yummy. Especially warm out of the oven, when th…
By Jen McGuire

These Photos Of Prince George Then & Now Will Give You Serious Baby Fever

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their third child in Spring 2018. With all of the excitement surrounding the new baby, it's easy to forget all of the good times that have already passed. The couple's eldest is already well into the sc…
By Azure Hall

This Is, Hands Down, The *Grossest* Thing Babies Do Inside The Womb

Your baby's life in the womb may be safe and warm, but it's also kind of grody. Seriously, the whole process of growing into a human being includes more than a few icky moments along the way. But this is the grossest thing babies do inside the womb b…
By Lindsay E. Mack