Courtesy of Steph Montgomery

8 Reasons Why Your Second Kid Will Be A Bigger Pain In Your Ass Than Your First

Ad failed to load

In many ways, having a second child was so much harder than having my first. It sort of makes sense, I guess. I mean, I was exhausted before my second was even born, and caring for two human beings is way more work than caring for just one. But I don't think it's just exhaustion that makes parenting two children difficult. In fact, in so many ways your second kid will be a bigger pain than your first child ever was, and their unique selves are going to present an entirely new set of challenges that are nothing if not daunting.

Now, don't misunderstand: I love my second child deeply. I think I was actually able to be a way better mom the second time around, too. I was more chill and had already figured some sh*t out. So make no mistake, I love being my son's mom. He was only a baby when I became a single mom, and as a result he was firmly attached to my leg, arm, or lap every hour of almost every day. It was sweet. He was my little shadow. But, eventually, I found myself wishing for my own space, my own bed, and to at least use the bathroom by myself.

One of my favorite parts of having more than one kid is that they play with each other. It's so sweet to see my children hang out and play. Not to mention that they kept each other occupied and out of my hair, which for a short time made me believe that I might actually be able to clean up messes or not have to watch them 24 hours a day. But I soon learned that kids playing with each other also means kids fighting with each other, touching each other, teaching each other how to break the rules, and yelling, "mom" every five minutes. Ugh.

Ad failed to load

So for so many reasons, your second child will totally be a bigger pain in your ass than your first. Reasons like, for example, the following:

Ad failed to load

Because You're Infinitely More Exhausted


As a first-time mom, I was tired. But make no mistake, I was not as tired as I was 3.5 years later when I had my daughter's little brother. I was sleep-deprived way before I had to deal with newborn eating and sleeping schedules.

Because There's Less Of You To Go Around

I wish I could say that having a second child meant that I suddenly had more energy, time, arms, and the ability to be in two places at once. Nope. It's definitely harder when there's two of them and only one of you.

Because They Will Fight With Their Sibling


The best part about having more than one child is when they play with each other and keep each other occupied so you can do things like, you know, poop by yourself. But kids playing with one another also tends to cause siblings to fight at least 20 times a day. It's hard to relax when you have to repeat "please stop touching your sister" every five minutes.

Ad failed to load

Because They Are The "Baby"

Your second child will be your baby, which means you will probably, well, baby them. But it also means that they will come to expect to get away with sh*t, as the "baby" of the family. The bad news is that by the time you realize you're created a tiny monster human, it will be too late.

Because They Will Put Everything In Their Mouth


If you plan on having more than one child, I highly recommend that you not buy your older child anything marked "choking hazard." Like, ever. It doesn't matter if it's an age appropriate toy for them. Just don't do it. Because no matter what you do, your second kid will find it and will put it in their damn mouth.

Because You Have Expectations

When you have your second child it's natural to expect that they will be like their older brother or sister, or that you know what you are doing because, hey, you've done this before with your other child. I say it's time to let go of those expectations. Like, immediately. Because you will soon learn that children are different, especially when they have an older sibling to follow around. Even if they share the same DNA, they won't necessarily share the same personality traits, likes, dislikes, and mannerisms.

Ad failed to load

Because Your Older Child Will Teach Them Bad Habits


Your second child will learn so much from their older sibling, like how to count, which shows to watch on Netflix, and which Pokémon cards are worth keeping. Unfortunately, they will also learn things like how to push your last button, how to delay bedtime, and how to throw epic tantrums.

Because They Will Want To Do Everything Their Older Sibling Does

Your younger child will want to do everything their older sibling does, including playing with their toys, tag along after them, and inevitably starting a sh*t ton of fights. It's cute when they are a baby, but it's so hard to explain to the toddler or preschooler that they can't do things like go to the park, ride the same rides, or have the same friends as their older sibling. This will inevitably make them a pain in your ass. A cute pain in the ass, to be sure, but a pain nonetheless.

Check out Romper's new video series, Bearing The Motherload, where disagreeing parents from different sides of an issue sit down with a mediator and talk about how to support (and not judge) each other’s parenting perspectives. New episodes air Mondays on Facebook.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

These Millennial Parents Are Taking Gender-Neutral Parenting To An Entirely New Level

A woman on the subway looks at my bulbous shape and asks, “What are you having?” I take a deep breath and throw a glance to my 5-year-old. “I’m having a baby,” I say to the woman. “No, no” the woman says laughing as she pushes further. “Are you havin…
By Madison Young

I’m Registered At Babies “R” Us, & I'm Freaking The Hell Out

Hi. My name is Abi, and I’m registered at Babies “R” Us — and I’m freaking out. This may sound silly, but after being a die-hard Toys “R” Us kid, I was so excited to register at their baby store once my husband and I finally got our big fat positive …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

My Daughter Is Obsessed With Being "Pretty" & I'm Way Past Terrified

Last week, when I picked up my daughter after school, she immediately wanted to know if I liked her hair. "Is it pretty?" she asked. Her hair was pulled up into two ponytails that were intertwined into thick, long braids. A shimmering pink and purple…
By Dina Leygerman

7 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 20s, But I Will

I was 24 when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. The pregnancy was a surprise, since I was on birth control (side note: antibiotics and birth control don't mix), but my partner and I decided to continue with the pregnancy and committed to m…
By Candace Ganger

Women Who Miscarry Early Deserve To Grieve — Here's How Hospitals Should Be Helping

When I lost my baby back in 2013, it was because of a very early miscarriage. Because of the little amount of time I spent being pregnant, it was though my child had never really existed, which made the next few years hard — I felt like they had been…
By Risa Kerslake

7 Things I Wish My Partner Had Said To Me In The First Hour After Giving Birth

I don't know if it was the buzz of the surrounding machines, the non-existent cry of our son as the doctors tried to resuscitate him, or the fact that I'd already been through labor and delivery once before, but I knew something was missing after I h…
By Candace Ganger

Moms’ Groups Weren’t For Me, Sorry

I go to my moms’ club everyday of the week, but not usually on weekends. My moms' group is a place I can always count on finding fellow mothers who understand the daily struggles and triumphs of parenthood and of juggling life’s responsibilities. Dep…
By Samantha Taylor

Millennial Women Are Getting Married Later Than Gen X, & The Reasons Why Are Pretty Badass

The battle of the generations seems to come up when it comes to every lifestyle or career choice people make. Women, especially, are an important demographic when it comes to analysts looking at the lifestyle choices we make or the expected milestone…
By Josie Rhodes Cook

I've Had 3 Miscarriages But *Please* Keep Telling Me About Your Pregnancy

I can feel the tension the moment my friend announces her pregnancy. I can hear the forced nonchalant attitude she's willing herself to exude as she fishes for the ultrasound. I know why I was the last to learn that she was expecting; why she keeps l…
By Danielle Campoamor

7 Early Signs You're Going To Need An Epidural, According To Experts

Even if you've constructed an elaborate birth plan, it's impossible to control every aspect of labor and delivery. Complications can occur, proactive measures might be necessary, and your mind is subject to change when those damn contractions really …
By Candace Ganger

I'm Pregnant & I Refuse To Read Any Parenting Books

I didn't read any parenting books when I was expecting my daughter, and I refuse to read any parenting books as I await my second child now. I'm the first to admit that I don't really know what I'm doing when it comes to raising my daughter. A good d…
By Marie Southard Ospina

7 Reasons Why March Babies Are Total Badasses

From the moment you become pregnant, you begin to wonder what your little one will be like. Will they look like you, your partner, or your Great Aunt Edna? Will they be the quiet, thoughtful type or arrive on this planet raring to go? It's fun to ima…
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

12 Overnight Face Masks To Use To Wake Up Feeling Pampered AF

Spring is right around the corner, and as far as I'm concerned, the sunshine and warm breezes can't come soon enough. But now that we're about to say goodbye to winter, it's a good time to take stock of your facial skincare routine. You know, in the …
By Katie Malczyk

11 Essential Products To Pack In Your Hospital Bag, According To OB-GYNs

The minute you go into labor (or think you're going into labor), chaos ensues. You and your partner are likely to get a little frantic, just like in the movies, so you most definitely want to have a hospital bag packed before the day comes. This prec…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

7 Photos You *Must* Take In The First 6 Months Of Motherhood

In my experience, becoming a mom is like becoming an amateur photographer. There's just something about the need to capture every single coo and sorta-smile that leaves you obsessed with all things photography. I know I couldn't stop taking selfies w…
By Candace Ganger

Here's How Early An Ultrasound Can Actually Determine Your Baby's Sex

From the moment you see those two lines on a pregnancy test, there are a few markers along the way that stand out as especially exciting. Amongst them are hearing your baby's heartbeat and feeling that first, sweet little kick. And if you are finding…
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

9 Easy Kid Foods To Turn Green, Just In Time For St. Patrick's Day

The best part about having kids is that you get your own personal crew to celebrate the holidays with, in all your color coordinating and matching glory. And with St. Patrick’s Day right around the corner, you are obviously working on turning everyth…
By Mishal Ali Zafar

Here Are Some Conditions That Might Require You To Be On Bed Rest During Pregnancy

When I worked in an office, I worked with quite a few pregnant ladies all at the same time. Something must have been in the water, because while I was there for three years, two of my coworkers got pregnant twice, and another girl was pregnant with h…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

I Didn't Follow The Pregnancy Diet Rules & My Daughter Turned Out Just Fine

My diet is an ever-changing and wholly personal thing, which is precisely why I refused to follow any pregnancy diet rules when I was expecting my daughter. For years, I've essentially practiced intuitive eating, in that I listen to my body and eat w…
By Marie Southard Ospina

5 Foods You & Your Partner Should Eat If You're Trying To Get Pregnant

When you're trying to conceive (TTC) and it's just not happening, it's easy to feel like you're doing something wrong. It can be soul-crushing to keep seeing negatives when all you really want to do is wave a positive pregnancy test in the air. So wh…
By Kate Miller