Postpartum can be pretty taxing on a relationship. Even the most solid partnership can crumble when you’re both sleep deprived, skipping meals, and constantly being pulled in every direction imaginable. From one moment to the next, a simple misunderstanding can snowball into an all out war; a war that'll surely be interrupted by your baby’s next cry or diaper change. My husband and I definitely experienced a postpartum war or two, so if you’re wondering why postpartum life is making you question your marriage, don’t worry. I can say with absolute confidence: you’re not alone.
My husband and I discussed what parenthood would be like prior to the birth of our son. We knew we would both care for our son equally, alternate getting up to check on our baby at night, and both feed him (as we were mostly bottle feeding). We established that my partner would help with washing bottles and my pumping supplies,and we would divide household chores as equally as possible. It all seemed like it was really going to work out wonderfully with minimal problems. Then, well, our son was born, and every aspect of new parenthood was infinitely more difficult than either one of us could have anticipated.
It’s so easy to only look at what your partner isn’t doing, rather than focus on what they have done, especially when you’re a sleep-deprived new parent and it feels like the entire world is out to get you. Personally, there were more than a few times when I just wanted to scream, “DIVORCE!” at my husband, even though I knew it was due to intense exhaustion and hunger. Still, that didn’t stop me from questioning my marriage during the following postpartum moments: