Romper

Jamie Kenney

Jamie Kenney is a staff writer at Romper. Her writing has appeared in Parents, Playboy, McSweeny's, the A.V. Club, Bustle, and Jezebel's Powder Room. She has two children she talks about a lot on social media, but in a charming and entertaining way. She strives to live her life as all four Golden Girls at once.

13 Outfits I Hope Meghan Markle Dresses Her Baby In

You know how, in some families, all the siblings and cousins and whatever all get married and/or have kids at around the same time and there's this delightful baby explosion that has you attending a family gathering every few months? I feel like…
By Jamie Kenney

10 Mistakes I Made With My First Kid That I Didn't Repeat With My Second

Nobody's perfect, including and especially parents. And when it comes to new parents you're multiplying all that imperfection by a zillion. It's honestly miraculous that human babies have survived millions of years of parental ineptitude. Still, as…
By Jamie Kenney

11 Early Spring Problems Every Parent Has To Deal With

We've made it, folks. Winter is over and we've come out the other side in one piece. It was touch and go for a while — especially that day I had to shovel my extremely steep, very long driveway twice — but it's spring now and the worst (or at least…
By Jamie Kenney

13 Things To Expect When You're Expecting A Taurus

In her latest podcast, Amy Schumer revealed that she's "giving birth to a Taurus" and, call me basic, but I am here for the astrological analysis of what that actually means. So here's what to expect when you're expecting a Taurus. (Spoiler: it's…
By Jamie Kenney

These Kids' Favorite TV Moms Prove They Have Some Pretty Stellar Role Models

In the storied history of television, moms get short shrift. They're often shallow, underdeveloped, and generally wind up more stereotypes (or, more charitably, archetypes) than actual women. But every now and then you get a fully developed,…
By Jamie Kenney

What To Put In An Easter Basket, According To 18 Parents

Where I live, winter often feels endless and desolate. But, around March, I begin to see the encouraging signs that spring is on the way. The tender shoots emerge from the cold ground. The birds sing just a little bit more brightly from their…
By Jamie Kenney

15 Things Moms Can Officially Stop Apologizing For

Moms, we need to talk. Come sit and put your feet up, because I know, as a new mom, you could use a minute or two to relax. Let me hold the baby, too; you look like you might be a little touched out. Now, I'm not sorry to tell you, to your face and…
By Jamie Kenney

10 Questions To Ask Yourself If A Kid In Public Is Annoying You

There's an ancient proverb that goes something like this: "If you wait long enough, any conversation on the internet will eventually turn into a debate about kids misbehaving in public." OK, maybe it's not ancient — and it's probably not strictly…
By Jamie Kenney

13 Signs Your Kid Is A Targaryen

A popular thing to do among the geek set is to know, deep in your heart, which Harry Potter house you belong to. (Honestly, if people don't know immediately that I'm a Ravenclaw I wonder what I'm doing wrong with my life.) If you're a Game of…
By Jamie Kenney

13 Acceptable Reactions To Spilling Breast Milk

If you've ever pumped breast milk, then even the idea of spilling said milk is enough to make you wince in sympathy. Whether you're remembering your own incident(s) or you can just imagine how terrifically such a thing would suck, the reaction is…
By Jamie Kenney

11 Things Parenting Destroys Your Will To Care About

Motherhood is hard. It requires a lot of a person and, as such, a person must prioritize. Since my own prioritizing efforts I've realized there's a hell of a lot of stuff that at one point in time seemed terribly important but, now that I've thought…
By Jamie Kenney

13 Enemies Every Parent Will Inevitably Make

I'm not a vindictive person. I'm a peace-loving hippie who believes in compassion and love. But parenthood can change you sometimes — not always for the better — and you may find yourself one day madly scribbling down a list of people and entities…
By Jamie Kenney

10 Real-Life Women Superheroes We Need To Talk About ASAP

Not all heroes wear capes. I mean, if you're to believe Edna Mode from The Incredibles, heroes shouldn't wear capes, but in my experience some of the most noble heroes out in the world today not only don't wear capes but go about their heroism…
By Jamie Kenney

11 Annoying Things I’d Rather Do Than Survive Another Snow Day

I love living in Connecticut. Everything about New England suits me, even the fact that winters here can be harsh. But sometimes those harsh winters really test the limits of my regional pride. In fact, I can safely say in this moment that if I have…
By Jamie Kenney

10 Authentic Ways To Celebrate St. Patrick's Day With Your Kids

From my name to my black hair to my pale skin, I'm easily identifiable as Irish-American. And if anyone ever has any doubt, I can strap on my ghillies (Irish dance shoes) and show off my years of step-dance lessons with a spirited slip jig. I'm…
By Jamie Kenney

The Only "Mommy Makeover" Items We Really Need

There is little that will instantly set my teeth on edge like the idea of a "Mommy Makeover." For the blissfully unaware, this term refers to a series of surgeries (generally a tummy tuck and breast lift/augmentation/reduction, and has now grown to…
By Jamie Kenney

What Your Favorite 'Game of Thrones' Character Says About Your Parenting Style

After what feels like a never-ending winter (it's actually only been about 18 months), Game of Thrones will be returning to HBO on April 14. I am stoked. In the final season of the beloved series, we'll finally discover who will claim the Iron…
By Jamie Kenney

Sick Days When You're A Mom Vs. When You're Kid-Free

Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, I had a nice sick day. Don't get me wrong, I was sick so the coughing and the whole "feeling like crap" thing wasn't great, but I was also able to actually lie down on my couch and take a break from…
By Jamie Kenney

What Your Favorite Disney Princess Says About Your Mom Style

Generations of girls have grown up with a slew of Disney princesses as their role models. Whether or not this is a good or bad thing is up for debate, but it makes sense that after decades of singing their songs and playing with their dolls and…
By Jamie Kenney

These Are The Times Kids Are *So* Lucky Human Parents Don't Eat Their Young

My children are amazing. I love watching them develop into kind, funny, smart, loving, creative humans. And I love how brave they are. My son climbs to the top of every jungle gym he's ever seen. My daughter rolls up her own sleeve before…
By Jamie Kenney