If you are anything like me, the first few months after you bring your new baby home are full of surprises, scary moments, snuggles, self-doubt, silliness, sleep deprivation, and so many tears shed by everyone involved. However, despite the inevitable freak outs, fears, and fights, there are many postpartum moments that'll bring you and your partner closer.
There was nothing more amazing than meeting our son for the first time together. I grew a tiny human in my body who is part me and part my husband and he'll be in our lives forever. I mean, that's mazing. However, there are also scary and emotionally charged moments, like your baby is sick, won't stop crying, or won't go the f*ck to sleep. The intensity of those moments and the ability to problem solve together generated some serious moments of common ground and commiseration for us as a couple.
I admit that occasionally I get resentful of my husband's ability to sleep through a literal sh*t storm happening on the other side of our bedroom, or that I can't seem to be able to explain to him what what it's like to have to manage postpartum depression and anxiety, something he will never truly understand. However, in so many ways having a baby together has made our relationship stronger (at least once I stopped keeping score about who was getting more sleep).
There's nothing more amazing than meeting your baby for the first time. I am so glad I got to share that moment with my partner. We made a tiny human.
Even though his first week was full of a lot of trial and error when it came to how and what we fed our baby, I knew I had my husband's support no matter what.
Seeing him hold our baby was simply amazing. It made me love him even more.
We snapped a quick picture of the three of us before going to sleep. Looking at it makes me swell with love.
The shared responsibility of being parents sets in during your first night in the hospital. Emotions vacillated from "oh crap" to "aw yes." I don't think any of us got much sleep.
We stole a few moments of quiet intimacy at the hospital. We were so excited, happy, and scared, but we also knew we had each other to lean on.
Why won't he sleep?
It's your turn.
What do you mean he pooped, again?
I'm so tired.
It's generally about something stupid and petty. Everything is worse when you are sleep deprived. Luckily, there's something about newborn snuggles that cure pretty much anything.
It was more than a little bit surreal to not be "pregnant me" anymore. However, sharing some wine with my partner was just what this mama needed.
So many silly moments. Most of them involve poop, pee, baby farts, and other bodily functions that are nothing if not inevitable.
At least we are both exhausted, right? We'll look back on these moments and laugh someday, I'm sure.
It's so amazing to recognize parts of my husband in our child's expressions or features.
He's finally asleep. Heck yeah. Let's have some mommy and daddy snuggles, or maybe just some sleep.
There's nothing scarier than your newborn being sick. It made me feel so helpless, but I knew that my husband was there with me and for me, no matter what.
"What's wrong with him?
Is it his diaper?
Is he hungry?
Why won't he stop crying?"
So much pee. Try to laugh about it, if you can. After all, if you don't laugh you might cry.
Can you please take over? I need some sleep now.
There's nothing sexier than a partner willing to take care of your baby so you can get some damn sleep.
We are in this relationship as equal partners. We take shifts so everyone gets sleep.
It may not be the best sex ever, the baby might wake up, you might laugh, or cry, and it might be completely different than before. However, the first time my partner and I had sex since I had the baby, brought us some needed intimacy in our relationship.
"Honey, it's your turn.
What do you mean you changed him last time?
I honestly don't remember."
Learning how to parent a tiny human with someone is not easy and definitely not for the faint of heart. However, once you figure a few things out, learn to laugh at mistakes, and forgive each other for the things you say when you're sleep deprived, you just might find that these moments will bring you closer together.