I recently had my "tubes tied," also known as a tubal ligation. It was pretty simple, really: the doctor cut two tiny incisions near my belly button and my bikini line, then laparoscopically banded and burnt my Fallopian tubes to prevent eggs from traveling from my ovaries to my uterus. I didn't expect to feel any differently when all was said and done, and I certainly didn't expect my sex life to change. It did, though. I mean, you guys, sex is better after you get your tubes tied. As in "the best sex you will ever have" kind of better. We need to talk about this, because, orgasms. All the orgasms.
So, why is this such a secret? I think it's partially because people associate getting your tubes tied with getting older. I mean, there are still doctors who won't perform the procedure on people they think are "too young," or who haven't had "enough kids," which is bullsh*t. You, and you alone, should control your fertility. And most people don't think, "Sex is going to be way better when I am older," so, sadly, it's common to associate old age with a dying sex life. That's not necessarily true, though. Now, I am certainly not saying that sex before my tubes were tied wasn't great. It absolutely was, but I have had some of the best sex of my life since I got my tubes tied.
So, why is it better? The main reason, I think, is that now sex is just for us. My partner and I don't have to worry about birth control, emergency contraception, or condoms. We also don't have to worry about fertility tracking, ovulation, or pregnancy tests. Pregnancy and preventing pregnancy are both now totally out of equation, as well as all of the planning, stress, worries, and expenses that go along with both. It's so freaking liberating. We spend so much of our lives thinking about getting pregnancy, we don't consider that there's life (and an awesome sex life) awaiting you after you are done. So, with that in mind and because we should all be talking about sex more openly and honestly, here are just a few reasons my sex life is the bee's knees now that my tubes are tied:
While some methods of birth control and sterilization require that you wait a certain amount of time, or use a back up method, before you have sex, after a tubal ligation you can have sex as soon as you feel up to it.
I felt up to it about a week later.
Before my tubes were tied, when I had sex there was always at least a tiny undercurrent of stress regarding the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy. And sometimes — after a condom broke or I realized I forgot to take my pill — I would have to take emergency contraception and worry for weeks as to whether or not it worked and until I could take a pregnancy test. It's so nice not to have to worry about it.
I literally never have to think about birth control again. After spending more than two decades preventing pregnancy and using almost every birth control method available on the market, it is so amazing and liberating to no longer have to pick up birth control prescriptions, remember to take pill or schedule appointments, or to have to have painful procedures or shots. I love birth control, but I love being past that part of my life so much more.
There's no more midnight trips to the store because we ran out of condoms. There's no more tracking my fertility on an app to avoid (or pursue) pregnancy. We can have sex whenever my partner and I want. I mean, when parenthood doesn't get in the way, that is.
Sex when you are trying to conceive is fun, but it also can be stressful and usually ends up feeling kind of "clinical." It can make sexy time feel a bit less sexy when you have to track your cycles, do all of the right things afterwards to improve your chances of conceiving, and wait (or sometimes not wait) to see if you get your period and take a pregnancy test (or many pregnancy tests, but that could just be me).
Plus, nothing puts you off sex like holding a negative pregnancy test in your hand when all you want is to be pregnant.
I love my children, but between my partner and I we have five kids. Five. That's one, two, three, four, five children, my friends, all between the ages of 6 month and 11 years. My uterus is officially closed for baby-making business. Sex is for our pleasure now and nothing else.
After three years of spotting, and breakthrough bleeding due to the type of birth control I was on, I now menstruate according to a relatively predictable schedule. It is so freaking awesome to know what kind of options are available in any given moment for completely spontaneous sex.
Sex without having to worry about unplanned pregnancy, birth control, conception, or an unwanted visit from Aunt Flow is just, well, better. It's so liberating, and honestly, my partner and I have actually grown more adventurous as a result. I have a feeling it's because I have been able to remove a few items from my packed to-do list. Whatever the reason, I have no complaints. Sex after getting my tubes tied has honestly been some of the best sex I've ever had. Who knew?