Those of us with partners and kids know that, sometimes, the romance can get a bit stale. Like, say I want to watch a movie with my husband, or even just have a conversation. Our toddler will always choose that moment to run into the living room roaring like a dinosaur or throwing blocks around like a tornado. As a result, sometimes I don’t acknowledge the things my partner does to keep our marriage alive, so I want to highlight all the sexy things my bae has done for me this week.
I’m guilty of overlooking the subtle things my husband does to get in my good graces. I tend to focus on what he did wrong a lot. For example, if he left the toilet seat up or forgot to turn off the living room lights. These things irk me to no end, to be sure, but it’s bad form in any relationship to only zero in on the negative or otherwise annoying stuff. Everyone in relationships makes mistakes. We all do things that annoy each other (especially when you’re together for many years).
Still, so long as those things aren’t terrible (as in, they aren’t abusive or controlling or really harming you or making you feel like less of a person), it’s OK to try and let those little, negative things so. So, here’s to a (still kinda) new year, a new outlook on relationships, and a list of some of the things that my partner has done to make me smile this week.
He Let Me Use The Bathroom Uninterrupted (And For As Long As I Like)
Maybe “let” is the wrong word. He mainly kept our kid entertained long enough so that I could poop in peace. See, my toddler loves to come and hang out with me while I do my business, which, well, is annoying. Husband recognized I was getting irritated, scooped up the kid, and shut the door behind him.
He Washed The Dishes (Without Me Asking Him To)
OK, maybe that’s not entirely true. I have asked him a few times in the past, but it seems to be sticking now. Lately, he just goes to the sink, rinses, and loads the washer. It’s pretty fantastic.
He Cooked The Family Breakfast More Than One Day In A Row
My husband knows I don’t really cook. I’d like to cook. I used to cook. But lately, I just don’t. So, on weekends he gets up first and sometimes whips up some eggs and veggie sausage (for me) and not-so-veggie bacon (for him and our son). He’ll even bring it to me in bed and, come to think of it, I rarely if ever do that. So yeah, kudos, my love!
He Did The Laundry When Our Elevator To The Laundry Room Was Out
I took it upon myself to take laundry down to the basement one day this week because I knew we were in dire need of clean towels. But when I mentioned we also needed to clean our son’s preschool cot blankets? He went down himself, even though it was late as hell at night and the rest of us were going to bed.
He Went Out In The Cold To Buy Us Groceries
We’re new to colder climates, so this is kind of a big deal. My son and I have been sick the past week, but we needed some household supplies. My husband wasn’t feeling entirely awesome either, but he bucked up and did the thing.
Because he’s pretty rad.
He Asked Specifically What He Could Do To Make It Easier For Me To Get My Work Done
My partner and I were having a conversation recently about how I could get more writing work done. I told him about all the distractions that come up in my days that make it difficult to solely focus on writing (like caring for our toddler, cleaning house, back pain, etc.) He nodded and understood, and more importantly, he asked, “How can I help you? How can I make it easier for you to focus on work?”
He Took Charge Of Putting The Toddler In His Car Seat
This isn’t just a this week thing. My husband nearly always tasks himself with lugging our toddler when we go on outings, including the dreaded in and out of car seats bit. Personally, I hate doing it, so it’s pretty wonderful to have someone else who’s willing to do it.
He Apologized For (And Is My Ally In Fighting Against) Mansplaining
I love my spouse, but like any dude (and honestly, this isn’t always just dudes), he can sometimes end up mansplaining things to me. This week, I showed him a chart about it from the book Feminist Fight Club, and he totally understood it (we’ve had chats about mansplaining before). Of course, then he kinda went off and did a little mansplaining anyway, but he excused himself afterward. It was kind of sweet.
The patriarchy won’t dismantle itself in one night, but it’s nice to be with someone who gets why it needs to be dismantled and is working on fighting it along with me.
He Took Our Son Out On Saturday Morning So I Could Have The House To Myself
Alone time is sometimes hard to come by when you’ve got a family. I get a few hours when my son goes to preschool and my husband goes to work, but this is a recent development.
Weekends, on the other hand, is always a full house. Fortunately there was a car show this past weekend and my husband opted to take our son to check it out. I got to watch Riverdale and vacuum the living room in my underwear and it was glorious.
He Literally Told Me To Go Lay In Bed And Relax
I have a tendency not to relax at any point during the day. Sometimes I do yoga, and sometimes I sit and watch a few minutes of an episode of Dawson’s Creek, but I never just go plop down on my bed and rest. Today, my husband told me, “I’m going to clean the kitchen and the living room. Go lay down in bed and relax.” In that moment I remembered, once again, why I married him. It might not be a huge deal to some folks, but for overworked mamas, few phrases can beat that.
(And The Week Isn't Over Yet...)
My oh-so-significant other happened to spot me writing this list and assured me there was more to come. Which is great, since I enjoy massages, a quiet home for yoga practice, discounted chocolate, and other activities that might make him blush when he sees I write about them online.
One final note: if you've been feeling in any way unsure of your relationship, or if things have slowed down or been stressful, consider making a list like this. It's a pretty great exercise in reminding you about the little things. You know, the ones that still make you smile.