12 Times I Thought I Was Homicidal But Really I Just Needed Some Alone Time

Parenthood is full of what-on-earth-am-I-doing-here, please-let-me-run-away, someone-hold-me, dear-god-why moments. For real. You might be fronting as the most chill parent. You might have some folks fooled into thinking the diapers and messes and tantrums and demands (both physical and mental) don’t bother you. However, it doesn’t fool me. I know there are times I thought I was going mad from being a parent, but really I just needed to get away. I know you have them, too.

I’m here to tell you that you are justified in your feelings. Just like when my son has an emotional outburst and really just needs a hug by the end of it, I know that you all, dear parents, sometimes need to scream and shout before you realize, "Hey, it’s all gonna be OK." And it is! It really is. Most of our daily battles aren’t the end of the world. They might feel that way, especially when you have a toddler screaming so loudly in one ear that it reminds you of standing next to the speakers at a hardcore rock show when you were a teen. But then, eventually, there is quiet. Or you exit the room for a while. Or the house. Or the neighborhood. And suddenly, perspective is gained, right? You remember your kid is adorable and sweet and usually not such a jerk, and you come back home and all is well.

It’s cool. It happens to me all the time and sometimes on a daily basis. I reach my boiling point, and I get close to packing up my belongings and catching a bus to Peru, or something, and disappearing forever. I don’t, though, because usually I just realize all I really needed was some solo time.

When I Just Finished Vacuuming The Floors And My Kid Proceeded To Dump A Bag Of Chips On The Floor

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A few nights ago, my kid was quiet. We don’t hear him at all, so we know trouble is brewing. Sure enough, he’s got a bag full of cheddar rice cake chips all over the coffee table. Little bits of orange are everywhere, and certainly all over the freshly vacuumed floor.

I want to lose my sh*t but, instead, I breathe. I go downstairs to check the mail and reassess the situation. By the time I get back, he’s moved on, my husband has picked up the orange bits, and life can go on.

When I Had To Tell My Husband To Stop Playing Car Video Games So The Toddler Would Leave Me Alone

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My husband tends to get lost in race car video games. I don’t complain too much, because it often keeps our son out of my hair. The other night, however, my kid wouldn't stop asking to watch a Dinosaur Train dvd so I have to basically nudge my husband into putting the e-brakes on his game. Then I grabbed all my stuff and went down to the basement and forgot about life for a while.

When I Was Busy Wrapping Christmas While The Boys Snored Away

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I am the epitome of last-minute shopper and last-minute gift wrapper. We’d finished Christmas eve dinner (a.k.a. Noche Buena) and the boys went to bed. Meanwhile, I am furiously wrapping up tiny cars and books and socks, cursing everyone’s name. But you know what helped (aside from my bottle of vodka)? Having about four hours of total silence while I did it.

By the end, I was no longer raging.

When My Partner And Son Turned The Living Room Into An Indy 500 Race Track

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This isn’t a rare occurrence. My husband and son will sometimes leave to a toy store for hours and come back with more pieces of plastic to set up a race track. They’re equally obsessed with cars, so it’s a nice bonding time for them. I enjoy it too, on occasion, but sometimes I just want a clear living room and silence. Instead, I take a walk and come back feeling a little less, umm, “Argh!”

When My Kid Shoved Away Every Single Type Of Food I Offered Him

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This drives me nuts, and it’s a near daily occurrence. My kid is a picky eater, no matter how hard I try to introduce him to new foods or model better eating habits. Sometimes I just want to throw all the food off the balcony, but I usually just step away for a while and let bygones be bygones.

When My Little One Was Sick Every Other Week And Wouldn’t Leave My Side

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This winter has been particularly brutal when it comes to colds. Seems my kid is sick at least once or twice a month. His brand of clinginess makes me want to gouge my eyes out at times, but it usually just means I need to hand him over to dad for a while.

When I Could Hear My Spouse Struggling With Our Kid And I Knew How To Fix It But Had To Hide Away From Them So They Can Learn To Do Things In Their Own Way

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I really don’t believe that mothers are somehow just naturally and intrinsically better parents. I do believe that some of us are more attentive to our child’s needs, though, perhaps because we spend more time with them (same is true for any father who stays at home).

So when I hear my husband struggling to get our child to pay attention or do something that he would normally do just fine with me, I want to come out guns blazing and tell them to get it together. In the end, I do my best to give them their space and go cool off elsewhere.

When I Asked My Partner To Get Himself And Our Kid Ready To Go And I Got Out Of The Shower And They Were Still Watching TV In Their PJs

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It’s beyond frustrating when we need to leave the house and no one wants to get ready. Even if I get the toddler half ready and tell his dad to take care of the rest, if I leave the room, it’s often like he just totally forgets what I said. That’s when I want to bust out a damn chainsaw to get them into shape but it’s just a sign I need to walk it off.

When My Son Left All His Cars Scattered All Over The Floor (Every. Damn. Night.)

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Did I mention my kid really likes cars? Anyway, we’re trying to get him into the habit of cleaning up after himself, but it doesn’t work every single night. And, of course, those are the nights I walk half-asleep into the living room for water and step on a damn car. Then I want to just go postal on everyone, but I don’t, because it’s just cars.

When My Rugrat Lost It Every Single Time A Block Didn’t Balance Or Behave “Right”

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I like to think I have a fair amount of patience for my child. However, even I have my breaking point. Like when he has a complete meltdown if one of his blocks falls down from the tower he’s building. I know I can’t lose it, though, so I suck it up and maybe tell my husband I’m hitting the grocery store for a few hours.

When I Found Myself Reading The Same Line From A Book Over And Over Again Because The Noise Levels Were Too Damn Much

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It can be near impossible to focus at all when I have my kid at home. I’ll try to pick up a book or start writing, but then I end up just repeating the same things again and again. It’s like hell, but it actually isn’t and when I feel like it is, it just means I’m in need of a break.

When I Snapped At Literally Everyone And Then Broke Down And Cried

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I know I’ve reached my boiling point when I start being a big ol’ meanie jerk face. It’s not a daily occurrence, but I still hate that it happens. Fortunately, my partner usually picks up on this and asks me in so many words to take a hike. “I got this,” he says, and I know he’s right.