There's something about pregnancy that makes other people lose their filters and forget their manners, and baby showers seem to bring out the worst in people. At mine, people thought it was OK to make comments about my belly, the venue (a bar), the fact that my mom wasn't there, and how much I ate. Turns out, for better or worse, I'm not alone, either. I asked moms to share the evil things said to them at their baby showers, and hot damn some people have truly lost their minds
I honestly kind of hope the following moms are just exaggerating. I mean, who says this kind of stuff? People at their showers made some pretty rude comments, ranging from insensitive, awkward, and intrusive to bizarre, cruel, and just plain rude. Some of the comments seemed like attempts at humor, but even the most well-intentioned attempt at a cheap laugh proved to be hurtful. Why? Well, because no matter how funny you think you are, if your joke involves a pregnant person's body it isn't isn't funny at all. At least not to them. Trust me.
Speculating about a baby's gender because a pregnant woman is carrying high, low, has a big belly, or you think their pregnant baby is "ugly" is another baby shower no-no. (I wish I were joking about the last one). And don't even get me started about speculating about whether their partner was the father. Comments like that kind of make me lose faith in humanity. Can people please stop being rude to pregnant women? Being pregnant is hard enough without having to hear nasty comments, especially at your own damn baby shower.
"During the planning of my baby shower, I was told that my opinion didn't matter. The host said that she got to call the shots, including the guest list. I was also told that I was overly concerned about my possible preeclampsia and that it was all in my head."
"You don't even look pregnant."
"'You'll never have a medication-free birth, you have no tolerance for pain.' That echoed in my head as I endured eight and a half hours of unmedicated back labor like a stubborn mule."
"My husband's aunts organized a stupid game where they 'taught' him how to change a diaper. It was so offensive and perpetuated all the stereotypes of 'dad is a dope.'"
"I had my shower after my baby was born. Some guy said, 'Oh. Look at what big feet he has. You know what they say about boys with big feet. Wink wink nudge nudge.' My response? 'They need big shoes?'"
"We had a baby shower arranged by friends in my husband's immigrant community, from a culture where women have to be like tireless Energizer Bunnies, regardless of the situation, and men are just supposed to loll around and give orders. They were kind enough, until one of them went into our bathroom to make a phone call and noticed that our bathroom floor was dusty in that special gummy way bathroom floors get. She called the other women in one by one to titter about it. I was in my 36th week of pregnancy and had been on bed rest for complications, and there's no way I could have cleaned the floor at that point. My husband, who was doing the cleaning, thought cleaning bathroom floors was not a thing. They knew all about that, but they didn't care. I was still a woman, and I had dropped the ball."
"My shower was actually yesterday and boy do I have some stories. I'm 20, not married, and one lady I barely knew at my shower decided to spend far too long explaining to me why I shouldn't give my son his father's last name. Another woman I barely knew told me my baby was 'gonna come out with cancer' because I had my phone resting on my belly."
"My best friend's husband told me that 'he'd never seen me so fat' at my baby shower. I was 38 weeks pregnant and 35 years old. I was sitting on a wooden chair that had a crack in it. Somebody suggested that I'd broken the chair."
"Are you going to have a real, unmedicated, natural birth?"
"It's probably not even his (referring to my husband)."
"I overheard two women friends of mine bragging about their unmedicated births. 'Didn't you just feel like a total superhero when you pushed that baby out without any pain meds?' 'Yup. Proudest moment of my life.' And they both knew I was planning to get an epidural. I was standing three feet from them."
"One person asked, 'Are you sure you aren't having twins?' When telling my father-in-law we were expecting a girl, he said, 'Next time you get pregnant you can ask your doctor for some tips and positions for getting pregnant with a boy.'
And yet another person said, 'I think you're having a boy, because when I was pregnant with my boy I was so ugly.'"
"I was trying to be discreet about my discomfort, and someone who knew brought up my hemorrhoids for all to hear."
"'You're going to have your hands full,' and, 'Better you than me.' Oh, and let's not forget, 'I hope it's a boy and a girl,' 'Did you conceive naturally?' and, 'Do twins run in the family?'"
"At my shower, we did a surprise name reveal (not a gender reveal, thank you), and once we disclosed the name, I was told, 'I knew you were having a girl. She's sucked all the beauty out of you, and you gained weight all over. Your face is so round.'"
"All I got at my shower (from family who should know better) were age-related questions, primarily, 'Aren't you too old to get pregnant?' and, 'Was this like a natural pregnancy, didn't you, like, need help to get pregnant?'"
"Asking about the dang (sperm) donor. Seriously?"
"'Better get those tubes tied now,' from my 59-year-old uncle. Eww."
"Baby came 11 weeks early, at 29 weeks in late August. So, we had my baby shower when I was four weeks postpartum, the equivalent of being pregnant at 33 weeks. Had more than one person say I was so lucky to not be pregnant in the summer heat. Almost punched someone. Like, my baby is stuck in the hospital for two more months, I'm pumping around the clock, and don't get to spend quality time with my child because he is in a literal box and covered in leads, tubes, and wires. But thank goodness I'm not pregnant."
"My grandma told me I better stop having kids now since I 'can't get them out the normal way.' I had two C-sections."
"My shower was in April and I was due in June. My father looked at me and said, 'Are you sure you're not due sooner? You're huge,' and then added, 'Except for your boobs, you probably won't even be able to feed the baby with those things.'"
"After our son was stillborn, and I was pregnant again with our daughter, I had someone tell me to 'keep the receipts... just in case.'"
Writer's note: after reading this one, I legit wanted to find out who said this and give them a piece of my mind. Who would say this?