I haven't had a full night's sleep in, well, forever. I'm totally exhausted and, to make matters worse, my body hurts. Between my work out boot camp, staring at my phone, picking up my baby, and walking a path from his crib to my bed (sometimes all at the same time), I have more than a few aches and pains. So, I spend my sleepless nights watching Grey's Anatomy and Googling my symptoms (real and imagined), which is how I stumbled across a list of real diseases I was convinced I had. Which, take it from me, was a terrible idea, especially for a tired, overwhelmed, still-healing postpartum mom with anxiety.
If I've learned one thing from these late night web searches and related panic attacks, it's that no good can come from consulting Dr. Google. I mean it. It's pretty impossible to apply logic and reason to your thought process when you're trying to exist on nothing but caffeine and the distant memory of sleep. So I say it's nothing short of understandable when you inevitably think your fatigue and head ache are symptoms of rare and unlikely conditions. You will probably start to panic, and wonder if maybe your insomnia might actually be your body trying to kill you because it definitely feels like it. You feel nauseated at the thought that you might be dying, and wonder to yourself, "Could I be pregnant?" So, you take a dozen pregnancy tests to be sure, because there's no way in hell you'll go through another difficult pregnancy right now (or maybe that's just me?).
I totally think I might be dying, which is another sign I should probably stop watching Grey's Anatomy, lest it give me nightmares when I finally manage to get some damn sleep. And while I know firsthand that living with a chronic illness is no laughing matter, sometimes laughing is the best medicine for hypochondriacs like me. Read on (if you dare) for a list of real diseases I have totally Googled late at night, only to convince myself I absolutely had.